6 Reasons Why Observe and Report Must Beat Paul Blart

Kara Stanford-Jones — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:00:20 +0000

There are many unanswered questions in the universe. Why am I here? Does God exist? What makes me happy? I have a question, How did Paul Blart: Mall Cop make so much money? It was such a bad movie! It wasn’t even funny. Unfortunately, I was forced to see the movie. It’s a long story involving foreigners, language barriers, and nothing else to see. Perhaps, it made money because of reasons similar to mine?

The plot of the movie could have been pretty funny. It’s so easy to make fun of the mall cops; they are the stereotypical rejects from the police academy. They always wanted to be a cop, but just didn’t make the cut. Then add in the subplot with the awkward, fat guy on a quest to win over the hot girl. All of this together could have been really entertaining, but it really fell short. It’s disappointing that such a bad movie did that well. But, Seth Rogen is coming back, with Observe and Report, as an answer to the failed mall cop movie. Hopefully, it does as well, if not better, than its disappointing predecessor.

Here are the reasons why Observe and Report must surpass Paul Blart:

To restore faith – At this point, I’m not sure people really know what a good movie is Why do we choose to see these? Do Americans really think this is funny Surely, people don’t think this way. That is why we need to restore the faith, the faith that we can recognize a funny from an unfunny movie. Not only that, but are more willing to spend our money on a superior movie.
Because it is the right thing to do - This comes down to a battle between “good” and “evil”. The “good” being the funny, or even moderately funny, movie and the “evil” being those unwatchable turds. Now, we all want to believe that, ultimately, the good should prevail. Otherwise, our entire moral code will go all out of whack. The point is, the better movie needs to win.
To eventually stop the creation of bad movies - It seems that a lot of these bad movies are getting sequels. How is that happening? It’s because the movies made money in the first place. We need to stop this vicious cycle as soon as possible. By seeing decent movies, and not the awful ones, the studios will stop releasing them. It all comes down to your dollars and cents people!
Because Paul Blart was that bad – The plot of the mall cop trying to prove himself is pretty good, but as I’ve said, it just didn’t work. Now, Observe and Report has the very similar theme of the mall cop trying to prove himself. If Paul Blart can make a whopping $147,755,895 worldwide, then Observe and Report should make a decent amount of money. I would dare to say that Seth Rogen is ALWAYS more funny than Kevin James no matter what he’s doing.
To hopefully stop Adam Sandler from making bad movies – (I know this has nothing to do with either movie, but I’m thinking about the big picture people!) Adam Sandler, shame on you! Why do you keep making these bad movies? You were funny back in the day. What happened? But it seems like you are doing it just for the sake of releasing them. We know you can make funny movies, now just make it happen.
Lastly, do it for all the mall cops – These poor guys are already made fun of for being police academy rejects. Their pride, dignity, and profession has been tarnished. If we are going to make a movie about them, just make a decent one. They might want to laugh along as well. Is that too much to ask?

What do you think? Have you seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop? If so…

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Weekend Box Office: Paul Blart Does it AGAIN

Mali Elfman — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:30:58 +0000

I can’t believe it! How the hell did this happen again? Are people really this stupid? Paul Blart: Mall Cop managed to scarp above Gran Torino and Underworld: Rise of the Lycans!!! I can understand people not knowing and going the first week, but come on people! Two weeks in a row? Read some reviews, don’t be fooled! And how the hell did Hotel for Dogs move up a spot? This is madness!

Here are this weeks box office numbers…

Paul Blart: Mall Cop | LW 1 | Weekend Gross $21,500,000 | Average per Theater $6,838 | Total Gross $64,800,000 | Cost $26 | Week 2
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans | LW New | Weekend Gross $20,700,000 | Average per Theater $7,036 | Total Gross $20,700,000 | Cost $35 | Week 1
Gran Torino | LW 2 | Weekend Gross $16,000,000 | Average per Theater $5,255 | Total Gross $97,576,000 | Cost $33 | Week 7
Hotel for Dogs | LW 5 | Weekend Gross $12,360,000 | Average per Theater $3,779 | Total Gross $36,955,000 | Week 2
Slumdog Millionaire | LW 10 | Weekend Gross $10,550,000 | Average per Theater $7,477 | Total Gross $55,916,000 | Cost $15 | Week 11
My Bloody Valentine 3-D | LW 3 | Weekend Gross $10,050,000 | Average per Theater $3,966 | Total Gross $37,725,000 | Week 2
Inkheart | LW New | Weekend Gross $7,725,000 | Average per Theater $2,910 | Total Gross $7,725,000 | Week 1
Bride Wars | LW 6 | Weekend Gross $7,000,000 | Average per Theater $2,671 | Total Gross $48,702,000 | Cost $30 | Week 3
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button | LW 11 | Weekend Gross $6,000,000 | Average per Theater $2,651 | Total Gross $111,044,000 | Cost $150 | Week 5
Notorious (2009) | LW 4 | Weekend Gross $5,700,000 | Average per Theater $3,473 | Total Gross $31,795,000 | Week 2

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6 Reasons Why Observe and Report Must Beat Paul Blart

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