Oh, for the love of…  Sigh.  Because Die Harder, Die Hard with a Vengeance, and Live Free or Die Hard weren’t stupid enough titles for unnecessary sequels to a great film (and, let’s face it, Die Hard itself is kind of a goofy title, too), it was announced today by Fox CEO Tom Rothman that Die Hard 5 will be entitled A Good Day to Die Hard.  Seriously.  A… Good… Day… to… Die… Hard.  A group of grown men and women, adults, came up with and approved of that title for a film.   Really.

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Well, the casting news for Quentin Tarantino’s highly anticipated Civil War epic, Django Unchained, just keeps on coming.  After announcing that Jamie Foxx would nab the hero role, and that Christoph Waltz would join him as King Shultz (a “dentist turned bounty hunter”), we’ve learned that Sam Jackson, Dennis Christopher, Gerald McRaney and M.C. Gainey would all be in the film.  Even Kevin Costner was going to show up as an evil slave trainer, before having to drop out due to his commitments to The Hatfields and the McCoys, leaving Kurt Russell to take his place.  And now another addition to the cast has taken place, one that will satiate all manner of Miami Vice fans.

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One of the most interesting films of next year is John Carter, the Andrew Stanton-directed film starring Taylor Kitsch and Willem Dafoe. The long-in-gestation project (which has had Harry Knowles, Kerry Conran and Jon Favreau attached at different points) is hoped to be the first in a franchise. Stanton talked to the New Yorker about the film, and told them the film needs to make $700 Million at the box office to generate a sequel. As large a number as that is, we’re moving into a period of very risky projects, including films like The Avengers – where we’re seeing bigger and bigger budgets for films that are not sure things.

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Well… that was quick.  Just five days after Steve Jobs, co-founder and former CEO of Apple Inc. and creator of everything awesome in your life ever, passed away due to pancreatic cancer, Sony is already on the move to buy the rights to Jobs’ life story and make a film about his life, which is in no way capitalizing on his death.  Not at all.  Despite the fact that this movie could have been developed anytime over the past four or five years.  Nope, nothing exploitative about this at all, especially since Jobs’ name isn’t, like, trending everywhere right now.

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After playing such luminaries of literature as Hunter Thompson, Roald Dahl, and Willy Wonka, Johnny Depp is taking a break from earning 100 jillion dollars pretending to be Keith Richards in pirate garb in order to produce and star in a biopic about beloved children’s book author, Dr. Seuss.

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Well, this ought to make the day of a few Clint Eastwood fans out there—looks like the actor turned director who stated that 2008’s Gran Torino would be his final bow in front of a movie camera is planning on returning from his acting retirement for at least one more film.

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We’re very sequel heavy on DVD this week as one of the spring’s biggest sequel hits, and biggest sequel flops, both come to DVD on the same day.

That’s right, it’s finally Fast Five day on DVD so you can take the all-star cast from the nearly billion-dollar megahit home with you. Or, if horror is more your speed, you can hang out for the thousand-dollar non-hit Scream 4 and let the blood flow.

All that plus many more TV on DVD and a whole lot of Lion King.

Check it all out below…

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Despite the fact that this is a movie franchise based upon a film in which Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren starred as Vietnam-era soldiers who were killed and then turned into cyborgs who punch and kick each other a lot (I know, I know, it sounds like it should be cool, but it isn’t) Universal Soldier is somehow getting a freaking TV show.  Go figure.

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So.  It’s come to this.  As The AV Club notes, Nelson Mandela “survived nearly three decades in a South African prison, and upon his release worked more tirelessly than ever to bring equality and a democratic voice to an oppressed people,” and now, he’s receiving the ultimate reward a man can receive after spending a giant chunk of his life sacrificing his freedom to ensure the freedom of others—his granddaughters are getting a reality TV show.

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