The latest episode of Glee opened with a 1950s-styled PSA about STDs. That’s pretty much what “Tested” was about — yucky sexually transmitted diseases, sex and virginity. While the boys get tested at the free clinic, Mercedes ponders losing her virtue to the beautiful idiot, a.k.a. Sam.

The Players:

  • Director: Paul McCrane
  • Writers: Russel Friend, Garrett Lerner
  • Cast: Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, Lea Michele, Heather Morris, Amber Riley, Naya Rivera, Jenna Ushkowitz, Mark Salling, Matthew Morrison, Ashley Fink, Chord Overstreet, Harry Shum, Jr., Cheyenne, Darren Criss, Jayma Mays, Jane Lynch, Dean Geyer, Melissa Benoist

Episode Title: “Tested”

The guys get tested for STDs, and Artie learns that he’s contracted a disease. Elsewhere, Blaine’s weight gain puts stress on his relationship with Kurt.

The Good:

  • Ladies Man: Artie is a new man in New York, specifically a ladies man. He’s been dating Godard-obsessed Vanessa and also a laid-back punker named Jess. But Artie’s got his sights set on his film’s narrator, a girl named Julie, but she has a strict policy against dating people she works with. So Artie has his hands full with the ladies, that is until he finds out he has a little thing called chlamydia.
  • STDs: The boys get tested for STDs and Artie’s results come back positive. Throughout the episode, Artie is haunted by an imaginary costume that highlights his chlamydia, and he’s so troubled by it that he starts to associate everything with the sickness. The best part of the whole thing is when Sam finds out Artie’s condition and slut-shames him with no mercy.
  • Freshman 15: Once again, Blaine and Kurt are on the outs. This time it’s because Blaine has started to gain weight and is feeling insecure. So, after Kurt discovers some gay porn on Blaine’s computer, they have a falling out during fencing. They have a crucial conversation in which Blaine bluntly says, “I fear that one day you’ll wake up and say, ‘I don’t love you anymore.’” Welcome to the club Blaine. Love is a scary thing.
  • Mercedes’ Virtue: Virginity has always been a big issue on Glee. This time it’s Mercedes who’s battling between surrendering her virtue or saving herself until marriage. She goes with the latter.

Best Lines:

  • “Artie needs to be slut-shamed. I’m slut-shaming you!” –Sam

The Music:

  • “Addicted To Love,” Robert Palmer –  Artie sings about being a Don Juan.
  • “I Want To Know What Love Is,” Foreigner – Mercedes performs at church.
  • “Love Is A Battlefield,” Pat Benatar – Blaine and Kurt play a rough game of fencing.
  • “Let’s Wait Awhile,” Janet Jackson – Artie, Sam and Mercedes sing about sex.


It’s only been two episodes since Glee dropped McKinley and became exclusively NYC, but so far so good. The show has become more focused, interesting and, dare we say funny. Keep it going writers.

Rating: 8.5/10

Glee airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Fox.

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What did you think of last night’s episode?