New Girl The Captain Episode 4 Season 3 – TV Review

Cue up George Michael’s classic “I Want Your Sex” because “The Captain, the latest episode of New Girl, zeroes in on the bedroom antics of new lovebirds Nick and Jess – and a very annoyed Schmidt.

Check below for the full review…

The Players:

  • Director: Fred Goss
  • Writers: JJ Philbin
  • Cast: Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, Lamorne Morris, Hannah Simone, Merritt Wever

Episode Title: “The Captain”

Jess tries to spice things up in bedroom with Nick, with a little help from Schmidt. Big mistake!

The Good:

  • Cold Open: Another solid opening segment. Lots of energy and the sequence really gets the ball rolling for what is a strong episode.
  • Winston: His softly spoken comment to the cat (Ferguson), “It’s happening”, was funny.
  • Schmidt: Every scene he was in was a favorite. He had some witty dialogue to perform and really played the Evil Schmidt role to perfection.
  • The Captain: “How comfortable are you with racial slurs?,” Schmidt asks Jess as he preps her for The Captain, a seemingly lurid sexual act he pretends is what turns Nick on.
  • Nick’s Penis: Jess doing her damnedest to get Nick – up – delivered some solid comedy. Loved when she punched him – like really hard.
  • Jim Croce: Nick’s Jim Croce poster in his room deserves/demands two thumbs up.
  • Too Soon?: Schmidt saying, “over-thinking” like five times during his scheming chat with Nick was a definite highlight to the episode.
  • No Sex: Schmidt becoming the ‘human dental dam’ must be pointed out!
  • The Quote: Schmidt: “Go make love in our communal shower!”

The Bad:

  • Reality: The Winston plot was not bad at all, but there is no way anyone will believe he didn’t know the girl with the cat wanted to party. No way. No one misses those signals!


Maybe it was all the sex, but “The Captain” was a lot of fun, and really shined start to finish. Even Winston’s cat plot had some choice moments. But the trio of Nick, Jess and Schmidt, with The Captain in the middle, kept the laughs coming. Not sure how long they will ride the ‘Schmidt determined to break up Nick and Jess’ deal, but so far it’s working. Only the fourth episode, but the best thus far of the young season of New Girl.


Rating: 8/10

New Girl airs on Fox at 9pm (ET/PT) on Tuesday nights.

What did you think of tonight’s episode?