Scary Movie 5

Scary Movie 5 isn’t the worst thing ever, a critique that could be leveled at Meet the Spartans, but it’s not a good movie by any stretch. It’s a never-ending pastiche of attempts to try and make the audience laugh though toilet and physical humor. Scary Movie 5 is mostly a bore.

The Players:


Dan (Rex) and Jody (Tisdale) bring home three long-lost children only to find out that an unknown entity came back with them. As they try to deal with the strange paranormal happenings going on in their house, Jody struggles to land a big ballet job as Dan looks for the formula to make apes smarter.

The Good:

  • The Editing: Hey, at least the editor had the common sense to keep the jokes going through a number of fast cuts. When you have juvenile humor floating around like it was in Scary Movie 5, you want to keep the laughs coming as much as possible. What better way to keep the audience’s attention than by feeding into the short term attention span of this generation, throwing out one joke after another at rapid speed. Smart move on their part.

The So-So:

  • The Humor: There are a couple of clever moments within the movie where it’s like “hey, wait a minute, I think I feel a chuckle coming on.” The introduction into the Black Swan portion of the movie and the entirety of the Evil Dead parody section were the bulk of it. Okay, so that’s only for ten minutes at most but that’s better than nothing. The writers have been around the block when it comes to parody, so the film isn’t devoid of laughs. It’s just that it’s stupid and doesn’t really work.

The Bad:

  • Outdated: Probably the most embarrassing aspect of Scary Movie 5 has to be their main list of films that they’re spoofing. They’re dealing with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Black Swan and Paranormal Activity 2. Now that would’ve been all fine and dandy if we were in the year 2011 but we’re in 2013. We live in a culture where the latest fads come and go in the blink of an eye, and if you’re one of those who fails to see when a trend is over with, then you’re ridiculed for it. Sure, the filmmaker managed to squeeze in Mama and Evil Dead at the last minute to make this movie feel a little more fresh, but it’s easy to catch that those were last minute revisions to the story. They weren’t even going to be in there in the first place.
  • Racial Humor: Most of the jokes in this movie are dull but stupid enough to be entertaining for some audience members. Then there’s the whole section where there’s a live-in housekeeper Maria (Porto). Everything that character does is one disappointing Mexican stereotype after another, mixed in with some of the more grotesque humor found within the film. At this point I thought writers knew better than to stray away from bringing out tasteless, dry racial stereotypes. Then again, this is the Scary Movie franchise we’re talking about.


Scary Movie 5 is a lazy effort in trying to keep alive a parody franchise that should have been dead and buried years ago. It may not disgust people with its humor, thank goodness, but fails to entertain.

Rating: 4/10

Scary Movie 5 is out in theaters now.

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