If you wanted to, you certainly could try and kill somebody with the weight of a person’s gigantic breasts. But if you’re Sofía Vergara and happen to be in Robert Rodriguez‘s new movie Machete Kills, then the director may have a number of new ideas on how to smite your enemies through the power of boobs. 

The amount of absurdity that you saw in Machete is microscopic compared to the stupid amount of violence and story we’ll be seeing in the sequel. We follow everybody’s favorite badass Mexican (Danny Trejo) as he’s hired by the U.S. government to put a stop to a weapon being launched into space. That doesn’t sound too difficult until you realize he’s got to punch and shoot his way through Mexico in order to get to the enemy. If Sofía Vergara’s character is Machete’s ally or foe, we know that nobody will be able to stop her with the weapons packing on her chest.

Speaking of guns, how do those work? Wouldn’t they hurt after awhile given the amount of heat and friction they’d be receiving due to the gun bra? Maybe there’s some sort of special padding that’s built in underneath the bra gun that prevents her from getting blisters on her dirty pillows. We need to stop over-analyzing her bra gun and just enjoy the carnage that will come with her wearing it in the movie.


Are you going to see Machete Kills?

Source: Total Film