Well, here’s a news bit that will both horrify and relieve fans of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Apparently the script for the upcoming reboot (just called Ninja Turtles, featuring alien turtles from Dimension X who don’t happen to be teenagers) that had fans so irritated was so horribly inept that even Paramount, the studio that wanted to reboot the series in the first place, is trashing it and starting over from scratch.
Where to begin? First off, the turtles aren’t turtles at all—they’re aliens from Dimension X that look like turtles, but are really “the chosen ones of their race.” Further, they appear to be the supporting characters in a film that is about Casey Jones, who happens to be “an 18 year old security guard for a furniture factory and amateur hockey player.” Seriously. Oh, and he’s dating April O’Neil, who is moving to New York City. And, he’s the one who gives the Ninja Turtles their color-coded bandanas, so that he may more easily tell them apart. And, Shredder is now some dude named Colonel Schrader.
How’s that for raping and pillaging your childhood heroes?
Well, rest easy, as the project is now getting delayed, apparently in response to how ludicrously terrible the script is. Even TMNT co-creator Peter Laird is speaking out:
Someone else alerted me to the existence of this script, and I just a few minutes ago finished reading it. If it is, in fact, the actual draft that was rejected and caused the production of the next TMNT movie to be pushed back to 2014 because the script was unsatisfactory, then I think all true TMNT fans should be grateful to the new “powers that be” that they did not allow this wretched thing to go any further. It could definitely be taken as a good sign if that is the case. It reminds me of one of the reasons I am glad to not own the property anymore… because I don’t have to tear what little hair I have left out while trying to fix junk like this.
/Film also notes that Paramount has now issues the fan site a cease and desist letter ordering that the script be taken down, lending further credence to the fact that the script was both A) real and B) really sucked.
What do you think of the TMNT news?