Featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger announcing “I’m back!,” Jason Statham stabbing a groom at a wedding and declaring “I now pronounce you man and knife,” and Sylvester Stallone crashing an airplane into a train tunnel in the side of a mountain, the trailer for The Expendables 2 features some of the most ludicrous action clichés committed to celluloid since Commando bowed in 1985. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any sillier, Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme show up to shoot and kick things, respectively.
But hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little brainless fun (unless it’s directed by Michael Bay and stars Shia Labeouf), and if Sly Stallone wants to rehash the glory days with his aging compatriots, why not? It can’t be any worse than the modern action films starring The Rock or Vin Diesel, right?
The film’s plot revolves around Stallone’s crew of aging badasses sneaking deep behind enemy lines to raid a stockpile containing copious amounts of tanning cream, Cialis, and Ben-Gay before Stallone’s Botox injections leave him unable to communicate orders to his crew. Something like that. Dig the trailer:
If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about the film, nothing will: machismo, ‘80s style action, explosions, big guns, wildly inflated muscles and egos, and Chuck goddamn Norris. The Expendables 2 stars Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Liam Hemsworth, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and is set for an August 17th release.
What did you think of the trailer?