The season finale of  Shahs of Sunset leaves us wanting more Reza and less GGMike bravely rejects GG’s advances.  Sammy showcases his winning personality to go with his stellar bod.  Asa showcases her art and her latest costume,  and half the cast torture willing participants on blind dates.

The Players:

  • Cast: Reza Farahan, MJ Javid, Sammy Younai, Mike Shouhed, GG Gharachedaghi, Asa Soltan Rahmati

Episode Title: “Old Friends New Problems”

GG and Mike take a boxing class together and afterwards GG tries to convince us that she’s not a spoiled, angry member of the unemployed elite. It seems to me that after a season of being the Tasmanian Devil of the group, someone has consulted with a PR expert on changing her image.

Reza has MJ over for melon balls and sparkling water, there must have been an alcohol shortage in Tehrangeles.  Reza states the obvious that MJ’s mother doesn’t love her and we get a closeup of MJ’s eyebrow tattoos.  Ladies, purple eyebrows are never a good look.

MJ and Sammy are setting each other up on blind dates and I just realized what I’ve been trying to put my finger on all season.  Sammy is a doppelganger for the Penguin from Batman.  Sammy’s date is visibly uncomfortable and shocked to be on a date with a known villain.  She’s secretly hoping someone will flash the Bat-Signal and wrap the evening of romance up.  MJ’s blind date is her controlling ex boyfriend, every Persian girl’s dream.  Weighing an impressive 350 pounds, Sammy takes it upon himself to tell his attractive date that she needs to tone up.  She better listen to him before he gets the Joker on her.  MJ’s date is the kind of swarmy that makes me want to cover my chest even though I know he can’t see me through the TV but I’m so repulsed that all logic goes out the window. This causes MJ to run like there’s a sample sale going on across town.

Reza and MJ are taking her dogs for a walk and MJ is dressed in her finest dog walking six inch stilettos.  While she’s debriefing Reza on her blind date, Mike calls to invite the group to dinner.

GG is going on a blind date of her own–I hope this guy packs heat.  GG wants to have a big family, a great idea for someone with rage issues as she’ll always have someone to scream at.  She also lets us know that she’s fascinated by crazy people and cites her heroes, Manson (Charles not Marilyn) and Dahmer.  GG’s date is slowly starting to back away.

Asa is taking a walk on the beach with acclaimed Persian journalist, Homa Sarshar in hopes of getting career advice.  Asa must have filmed her talking head segment right after a shower because I can’t think of any other reason to wear a turban outside of a Punjabi temple.  Homa offers her house as a showcase for Asa’s diamond water enhanced artwork.

MJ meets Sammy for drinks to discuss the recycled slime he set her up with.  Sammy gives us a taste of how a douche operates when, instead of apologizing for putting her in an uncomfortable situation, he berates her and calls her a drunk.  Anyone who’s seen the Vegas episode already knows this and doesn’t need someone who employs a hypnotic umbrella to win over the ladies to bring it to their attention.  Then Sammy waddles off in anger.

MJ is having lunch with her loving mother.  Let the mid day drinking begin!  MJ is attempting to explain to her mother that her nonstop hate train needs to end so that she can be a functional adult.  I think that the solution here would be to trade parents with GG and create a new reality show called Trading Persians, Psycho Edition.

Asa dons her finest intergalactic Persian priestess kaftan for her showing.  Her mother is supporting her by wearing her own dashiki but I’m a little disappointed in her father for dressing like a western infidel.

The Shahs meet for kabob laden finale and everyone talks about their friendship.  Aside from the fact that we see Sammy freshening his crotch with cologne, this scene is uneventful.

Shahs of Sunset have finished out the season and I, for one, would like to see a Reza spinoff.

Rating: 7/10

What did you think of the episode?