Boobs, bowling, booze…all the things that make America great take center stage on tonight’s ep of RHOC. Oh and this line, “When we got married, we became one flesh… and wives should stay home.” Check out our full review below…
Cast: Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Barney, Gretchen Rossi, Alexis Bellino and Heather Dubrow
Episode Title: Bowling for Champs
Like the title suggests, this episode contains both an evening of bowling AND champagne… in the same night! Intense I know, and things got rowdy. Prior to the awkward ending (we’ll get to that later), Tamra loses her shirt (or rather the big boobs that filled them), Jim pressures Alexis to ditch her non-childrearing hobbies and Heather tries to strengthen the ties that bind with an evening of pricey libations and plebeian entertainment. Oh, millionaires, they’re just like us!
- Real boobs: Tamra continues to sass her way into my heart by removing her 300cc titty sacks to make way for her real self. Unlike her tumultuous relationship with Simon, T doesn’t let Eddie’s side eye sway her from going back to her OG hot self.
- Alcohol: Really, where would this series be without the sweet, sweet kiss of fire water? This episode’s victim was relative new face (new as in freshly Botoxed and having little screen time), Sarah. Despite Gretchen’s best efforts to spare her amigo from drunken doom, Sarah managed to make a fool of herself by hounding Vicki to “talk” while the group awkwardly turned away half snickering, half horrified.
- Vick’s relationship: There’s just something… off about Brooks. Detective Tamra raised her monocle at Vick’s new man, a possible male Nene/Kim/Alexis, et al (aka GOLD DIGGER) and Vicki and her empty love tank are blind to the possible ruse. Only time will tell if he turns out to be Don II.
- Satin: Alexis’ favorite fabric needs a little revamp. First nose, then clothes? There’s something slightly hilarious, though, about watching a woman with heaving falsies, extensions to her belly button and creepy wax lips clutch her pearls at the thought of sexuality in the media with actual degreed professionals. Great find, Fox 5! Stay clingy and shiny, girl.
- Jim: With Slade being HDIT (Head Dick in Tow) the last few eps, I forgot how horrible Jim was. Over dinner, he more or less commands Alexis to give her her hobbies careers to return to stay at home womanhood. I mean, the bible says so!
RHOC gets back to its untamed ashy roots, and the episode turns out to be a good one! Less douchey Slade and more Dickey Jim, please. Oh and throw in a dash of drunk Sarah for a little kick.
The Real Housewives of OC air a million f’ing times a day on Bravo, but premiers Tuesdays at 9pm PDT
What did you think of the episode?