It’s the second half of a very Presidential episode of The Biggest Loser! Now that our contestants are made over, they’re poised to get sweaty with Michelle Obama.  Check out our full review below.

Last week, in case you forgot – before the makeovers, Buddy won a one pound advantage on the scale and Conda won a one pound disadvantage. I use the term won because it’s a win for me, as I kind of hate Conda and hope she goes home.

So we’re in the White House and the contestants are all made over and hanging with their families. Bob introduces her. I wish the guy who introduced the President introduced her (or Bob did that voice, like in The American President, that sound like you’re talking into a megaphone and are barely understandable).

Michelle says she’s “a big fan of The Biggest Loser.” I feel like I’m watching the “Stars, They’re Just Like Us,” page come to life. “The First Lady likes to watch The Biggest Loser!” I only wish there was a picture of her watching TBL to insert here.

Woohoo! Thanks, MS Paint! Mark introduces his wife as “his hot wife.” She is a cutie. Michelle talks about how she watches them while she works out and increases her incline when they’re working out.

After saying hi to all the contestants, Michelle (I feel like we’re on a first name basis considering we have some similar DVR contents) introduces an initiative she’s working on to fight childhood obesity. She wants to rally the country to make changes in order to model good behavior for the children in their lives. Specifically, she wants parents to exercise with their kids.

Then Bob starts some awesome dominoes (figurative) falling down by saying, “Well, I think with the First Lady’s initiative in mind, that we start moving.” So all the contestants, their families, and Michelle get ready to work out. Before they go change, Michelle makes a little mention about how she has secret service agents. I can’t tell if she’s joking or it’s a warning. No clue as to the context of it no matter which way she meant it.

There’s a Biggest Loser Visa. WTF?!

Anyway… Buddy says this: “Michelle Obama comes in and I throw it out there to see if I can get a little fist bump and she’s just right there. I blew it up, you know, me and Michelle. I’m gonna call her my ‘firstie,’ you know, like my bestie, but my firstie, like, you know, that’s my Michelle Obama.” There’s so much to say about that, but I’m gonna let it stand for itself.

So the workout. Bob has everyone – contestants, families, Buddy’s firstie, doing jumping jacks and squats. Bob calls her, “What no excuses is all about,” and reminds the audience that she’s super busy.

Conda is motivated to share a healthy lifestyle with her daughter.

Dolvett takes his turn training the group. He called the experience “moving and emotional.”

And then Michelle says, “Can the first lady get a towel?” I wish I had an excuse to say this. Someone find me one!

Michelle introduces the Presidential Active Lifestyle Award – an award people get if they eat healthy and move every day for 6 weeks. It’s like the self-congratulatory version of the President’s Physical Fitness Award. Damn pull ups. And shuttle run. And unrealistically fast time to run a mile. Yeah. I never won one of those.

Back at the hotel, Roy and Chris talk on the phone, and Roy guilt trips Chris, telling her he needs her to come home and he’s been depressed. Are the elves on spring break or something? Jeez, there are some major co-dependency issues going on in that relationship that need to be touched upon. So as a result of that guilt, Chris stuffs her face. It looks like she went through half a jar of Miracle Whip. Ew. I’m not a big fan of the tangy zip.

Last Chance Workout!

(Wow, things go fast during a show that’s only one hour).

Dolvett takes his people outside and has them doing squats and lifting weights. I love working out outside.

Bob takes Conda and Chris into a Planet Fitness. The yellow and purple walls are deterring me from ever entering one of these clubs. After Bob notices that Chris isn’t truly present, he calls her on it. Chris tells Bob that she needs to go home to deal with things. Aah…the ever important “things.” Bob yells at her and urges to care about what happens to her here. Chris starts crying. I wish Bob would say something like, “There’s no crying in baseball” and get all huffy, but no such luck. Instead, he gets Chris to recommit and then says, “Let’s burn down Planet Fitness!”

I’m hopeful for a minute, because I really want those ugly walls to go away, but Bob was just talking figuratively. So now we just have a bunch of inspirational music and interviews and working out. Dolvett says, “I want my 4 to be the final four.”

Back at the ranch, it’s time for the Weigh In!

Buddy and his one pound advantage are up first. His previous weight was 269 and tonight he weighs 260. That’s an awesome 9 pound loss!

Kim is up next. She’s worried about staying above the yellow line. She knows falling below means she’s out of there. The weigh in doesn’t help her nerves, she goes from 164 to 162 for a loss of only 2 pounds. Kim interviews how she feels like she’ll be okay if she loses.

Jeremy steps on the scale and goes from 260 to 249, an incredible 11 pound loss. Everyone is really quiet tonight.

Conda and her one pound disadvantage take their turn. Conda needs to have lost more than 8 pounds to guarantee her safety. Her previous weight was 210 and her weight tonight is 205, a 5 pound loss. That’s not enough to keep her in the game for sure. She is above Kim though.

Mark takes the scale. Remember how he didn’t lose any weight last week? Well that’s on Mark’s mind for sure. His previous weight was 200 pounds. His current weight is 196, a 4 pound loss. Mark is ecstatic about being in the 100s.

Mark is definitely safe from elimination, but that pushes Kim below the yellow line. Oh no!

Chris is up. She’s worried about the toll the binge will take on her body. Her previous weight was 170 pounds and tonight she weighs…172 pounds. Wow! Not good. That keeps Conda safe (dammit!) and puts Chris below the yellow line.

Chris and Bob share an extra-long hug wherein Bob gives Chris mumbled advice/words of encouragement and Chris thinks him.

Elimination Room.

We’re really chugging along.

Conda votes for Chris because she’s distracted.

Buddy calls Kim a sister and votes for Chris despite knowing that Kim is the bigger threat.

Because the tiebreaker is percentage of weight lost tonight, Chris is out after two votes. Before she gets eliminated though, Kim tearily tells Buddy how much his comments meant to her and they hug it out. Chris sounds happy to be leaving to see her family.

Today, Chris and Roy are basically inseparable. They bike and work out together. She feels optimistic about the future. She and Roy are planning to take a cross country trip…on bicycles. What happened to the reindeer drawn sleigh?!

Next week: There’s an incident that shut down production on The Biggest Loser and all the contestants walked off. What?! I need to know why! Why can’t it be next Tuesday now?!

My Picks:

Buddy, for inventing the term “firstie” and throwing my girl Kim a bone.

Kim, for being committed and determined, even though she was below the yellow line.

Rating: 7/10

What did you think of the episode?

Written by Guest Writer Paige Feldman