In the latest episode of MIOBI, what’s left of our original cast is placed under the harsh conditions of the too familiar inspirational sports movie format.  There’s betrayal, intrigue and even a little bit of social media driven sexual tension.  How will our girls handle it all?  Not with a Scooby Doo ending, I’ll tell you that much.  With all this drama, who has time for gymnastics?

The Players:

  • Creator:  Holly Sorenson
  • Stars:  Ayla Kell, Cassie Scerbo, Josie Loren

In the words of Kelly Parker, “I don’t understand anything that’s going on here.”

The New Coach is convinced that the girls are starting to warm to him, but it soon becomes clear that the they are afraid of him.  The NGO is not pleased.  I need some Sasha Belov.

And speaking of Sasha, all of a sudden, the kiss is a topic again.  Remember last year when Payson kissed Sasha and Lauren leaked the video to the NGO, what was Payson’s response?  “I kissed my coach.  I didn’t kill someone.”  Yes, Payson, that’s true.

Kelly insists on finding out who released the tape of Sasha and Payson kissing.  Kaylie says no, but guess what, Kelly does it anyway.  Honestly, what is the point of even talking on this show?

Payson asks Lauren for boy advice.  Specifically, she wants to know how to know the difference between when a boy just wants to hook up or when he’s really serious.  She’s asking Lauren this?  Lauren, who is notorious for only having boys who want to bang her?  This might be a Kaylie question.

At practice, Lauren has another dizzy spell.  My money is on anorexia or pregnancy.  This is ABC Family after all.

The New Coach invites the girls to his house for dinner.  Lauren has trouble deciding what to wear because she turns to fashion when she’s nervous.

Kelly and Kaylie know the truth about Lauren.

Coach shows the girls videos of themselves messing up.  Then he makes them watch Remember the Titans.  Let the boys play!!!  I am now listening to ADR of a movie that is not Remember the Titans.  The girls are clearly bored.  How can anyone be bored by Remember the Titans?  Kelly and Kaylie find out from Kathy Najimy (not the actual Kathy Najimy, just a text message) that it was Lauren who sent the Sasha/Payson kissing video to the NGO, but decide not to tell Payson.

Instead, Jordan decides to reveal that Lauren sent the kissing video to the NGO.  But Payson already knew.  Wait, what?

Oh wait, she didn’t actually know. Does anyone else think that this show would have a lot less problems if people just told the truth?

New Coach tries to give the girls an inspirational speech.  He should have just stolen Denzel’s speech from Remember the Titans.  It’s not like they watched it in the first place.  In fact, maybe he should have just brought in Denzel.  The girls confront him about his arbitrary actions.  The coach explains himself along with an awkward airing of marriage difficulties.  Tomorrow’s going to be a new day.

At that exact moment, Payson’s boyfriend shows up to interrupt.  Even he admits that that is inappropriate.  Then he asks her to change his status on Social Lounge which I can only assume is the un-trademarked version of Facebook, or FaceSpace as Law & Order:  SVU refers to it.  Regardless, he smooches Payson.  Like majorly.

New Coach has turned over a new leaf, wait, make that a branch, and is now super supportive and nice.  Super-mega happy ending.

Payson and Lauren decide to go see a doctor about Lauren’s mysterious illness, but that will be dealt with next week.

MIOBI Stats:

Lauren:  Broke it.  Never send a confidential email from your real email address.

Payson:  Made OUT with a superhot boy.

Kaylie:  Have the writers forgotten about her?

This show has really gone downhill:  6/10

What did you think of the episode?