Fair warning:  This is probably not a teaser trailer to watch at work, unless your boss is totally cool with a wildly postmodern fantasia in which Robert Pattinson plays a billionaire banker who shots a hole in his own hand, gets an in-limo proctologic exam, hallucinates a Tyrannosaurus Rex-sized rat in Times Square, and has sex with lots and lots of women, as directed by David Cronenberg from an adaptation of Don DeLillo’s 2003 novel.  So, fair warning.

Cosmopolis is the story of Eric Packer (Pattinson), a hotshot asset manager who takes a limo across New York City one day to get a haircut.  In that one day, while stuck in traffic, all of the above occurs, and a lot more.  Check it out via the just-released red-band teaser trailer:

So, what do you think?  Pattinson isn’t sparkling, isn’t causing teen girls to pass out, and isn’t sucking anyone dry.  And it almost looks like…gasp!…that he can act!  In fact, while an adaptation of one of Don DeLillo’s lesser novels, starring the guy with goofy hair from Twilight, had originally raised more than a few eyebrows, the film seems to be something of a throwback to Cronenberg’s insanely edgy 1980’s work, in the vein of Naked Lunch or Videodrome.  And if Cosmopolis is even half as good as those films, this could be a winner.

Cosmopolis does not yet have an American release date, but is set to premiere in France on May 23rd.

What did you think of the trailer?