Ok, dear ScreenCrave readers, here’s the news we know you’ve been clamoring for—the Dancing with the Stars (and, believe me, we’re using the term “stars” very, very loosely) season 14 cast has been announced and, oh boy, is it ever a depressing and crushing terminus for B-level celebrity careers that are currently spasming in the throes of a long and inevitable death.  We’ve got a former star of The Bold and the Beautiful and Melrose Place, a co-host of The View, the star of the 1970s program Little House on the Prairie, and the guy that played Steve Urkel.  Stars, indeed.

Also included on the roster are few actually successful people, such as Gladys Knight and all-time leading NFL receiver Donald Driver.  What they’re doing on this show, we have no idea.

Dancing with the Stars’ season 14 premiere is set to air on March 19 at 8 PM (EST) on ABC.  Dig the full cast list below (via The Huffington Post):

Jack Wagner, star of “Melrose Place” (pro partner: Anna Trebunskaya)
Melissa Gilbert, star of “Little House on the Prairie” (pro partner: Maksim Chmerkovskiy)
Donald Driver, Green Bay Packers all-time leading receiver (pro partner: Peta Murgatroyd)
William Levy, telenovela star (pro partner: Cheryl Burke)
Sherri Shepherd, co-host of “The View” (pro partner: Valentin Chmerkovskiy)
Katherine Jenkins, opera star (pro partner: Mark Ballas)
Gavin DeGraw, singer (pro partner: Karina Smirnoff)
Martina Navratilova, tennis star (pro partner: Tony Dovolani)
Roshon Fegan, Disney star (pro partner: Chelsie Hightower)
Maria Menounos, TV host (pro partner: Derek Hough)
Jaleel White, URKEL! Star of “Family Matters” (pro partner: Kym Johnson)
Gladys Knight, music legend (pro partner: (pro partner: Tristan MacManus)

What do you think of the Dancing with the Stars season 14 cast?