For reasons known only to the harsh and meaningless universe, which deems it necessary to punish all living things with an existence that is barren of hope, decency, or reason, another Mortal Kombat film is being made, thanks to the good folks over at Warner Games, who are hoping that if there’s one thing moviegoers want to see in 2013, it’s a film in which a hearty young lad by the name of Johnny Cage rips out the spine of a strange chap named Noob Saibot and then chokes him to death with said spine as that wacky Noob proceeds to violently vomit out his own entrails before spasmodically dying.
According to The AV Club:
After director Kevin Tancharoen took the bold step of creating his own Mortal Kombat movie trailer without the approval of Warner Games—gleefully reaching in and ripping out the property’s spine, in a legal sense—he nevertheless managed to spark enough viral interest that Warner gave him the go-ahead to turn it into a 10-episode web series. Now Tancharoen has been encouraged to execute the finishing move of a full-fledged, live-action Mortal Kombat reboot that’s due in 2013.
So, there you have it, folks. Indefatigable proof that life has absolutely no meaning whatsoever. And when you add to that the fact that Tancharoen’s last film was Glee: The 3-D Concert Movie, you can be sure that watching this new Mortal Kombat film will basically feel like you’re being beaten to death with your own femur. Fun!
What do you think of the Mortal Kombat news?