Look—I, like any healthy-minded adult human being, hate all of Reese Witherspoon’s post-Election films (ok, ok, Walk the Line was OK), but that doesn’t mean I advocate vehicular manslaughter to prevent her from making whichever new interchangeable romantic comedy Kate Hudson decided not to star in.  Turns out, an 84 year old motorist in Los Angeles felt differently, and decided to take Witherspoon out with her car and spare us all from Four Christmases Part 2: Four Harder.

Oh, I’m just kidding.  It was just a bad driver who wasn’t paying attention (which had nothing to do, I’m sure, with the driver being 84 years old.  Nope.  Nothing at all.  Nothing.  At.  All)  Via the Los Angeles Times:

Witherspoon, 35, is recovering at home after receiving treatment for minor injuries.

Police say the driver was an 84-year-old woman from Santa Monica.

She was cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk and released.

Witherspoon was “jogging around 11 a.m. near 20th Street and Georgina Avenue when she was struck,” at which point, somewhere in Hollywood, a film exec snapped his fingers and exclaimed, “I’ve got it!  Reese Witherspoon plays a plucky magazine writer in L.A., totally unlucky in love.  Old lady hits her with a car.  She and the old lady switch bodies, and Reese learns several life lessons, and eventually returns to her body a changed and better woman.  Let’s get that one much less attractive comedienne to play her wisecracking and cynical best friend, and Vince Vaughn will play the voice of the car, let’s call him Vroom-Vroom, and only Reese’s love will make him human again.  $60 million budget, the thing sells itself.”  Cue boardroom applause.