That’s right, Conan is back in yet another beefy form in the 2011 adaptation Conan the Barbarian. Jason Mamoa, the man who has recently caught the attention of audiences for his massive physique and his role on the hit TV series “Game of Thrones” suits up, or rather, takes it of, for his latest role as the epic character. It’s hard to really critique a film like this, because its goal is not something I seek out in films. It’s specifically tailored to fans of Conan and action, dramas with nearly no humor or character development. That being said, for what it was, the film was a good time and had some of the best 3D that I’ve seen in a while…

The Players:

  • Directed By: Marcus Nispel
  • Written By: Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, Sean Hood
  • Character Created By: Robert E. Howard
  • Starring: Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan
  • Original Music by: Tyler Bates
  • Cinematography by: Thomas Kloss

The Plot:

Really? Conan gets pissy about things, bangs broads and bashes peoples heads in, in a variety of ways. What are you doing looking for plot? Alright fine. His family and people were slaughtered when he was a young boy and he seeks revenge with the help of a very sexy virgin (like that’ll last!).

The Good:

  • The Special Effects: This movie was made on an incredibly tight budget and most of it was CGI. Often that gives a film a very “fake” touch and the 3D doesn’t always help. Thanks to the mazing special effects team and Thomas Kloss the the cinematographer, the film had a great sense of texture and depth that was unexpected and yet appreciated in a smash-um-up, action film.
  • Embracing The Genre: No one in this film is winning an Oscar, the story is just good enough to get you from point A to point B, there are plot holes you couldn’t drive your car over, but what’s important is the film delivers what people want when they walk into see “Conan the Barbarian” — There’s an aggressive tone that the films holds onto throughout, it’s visually appealing, easy to follow, and overall, a fun, violent time.

The So-So:

  • Violence: Though there were a few great action shots (most of which were in the trailer), it’s hard not to compare this film to the “Game of Thrones” series with the era and the lead actor. “Game of Thrones” is a far superior show with better storylines (though they have more time to develop them) but more importantly, more impactful violence. For some reason the violence in this film didn’t always have enough meaning to really have it hit home. Yes, certain scenes are cringe-worthy, but others could have been even more intense. “Game of Thrones” is the perfect example of how to use violence most effectively for the audience. Though this film has violence in spades, not all of it hits home as much as it should.

The Bad:

  • The Horseback Riding: Many of those, not as OCD about this as I would never notice that Khal Drogo, his character on “Game of Thrones” never actually does more than walk a horse or sit on one. He merely need to look good. In this film he has to actually ride, and for anyone who knows what they’re looking at, the riding is BAD. Keep your hands down!

Overall:

This is by no means a bad film, I don’t think it will have long legs, but if you find yourself debating whether or not you want to see it, just think “am I in the mood to see a fetus cut out of a woman’s stomach so she can see it?” If the answer is yes, go get yourself some popcorn, you’re in for a treat!

Rating: 5.5/10

Conan the Barbarian hits theaters today, August 19th.

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