Well, the headline says it all—teen culture, as it has pretty much always been (except for maybe when teens went gaga for the Beatles back in the day), is pretty much screwed.  Basically a live action version of TigerBeat!, the 2011 Teen Choice Awards took place in L.A. last night at the Gibson Amphitheatre, in what was essentially a morbid orgy of cultural mediocrity and inexplicable celebrity worship.  But Justin +  Selena looked soooooooo cute together, you guyz, OMG!!!

  • Speaking of hyper-bland teen/ twentysomething coupledom just empty enough for teen girls to use to fill in their daydream fantasias,  US Weekly inexplicably strings words together into sentences concerning Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner.
  • E! Online offers a breakdown of the night’s winners, and which way the prevailing winds are blowing in the land of teenagers, but let me break down for you in the simplest terms: Harry Potter, Twilight, Vampire Diaries, Glee, the Kardashians, Gossip Girl, and The Jersey Shore.   So, um, there’s no hope for the future, right?
  • E! was also so kind to lay out the evening’s most “jaw-dropping” moments.  There’s something about Ashton Kutcher in there, so I can’t actually recommend that you read it.

What did you think of the 2011 Teen Choice Awards?