Sigh. It’s that time again—the Jersey Shore is back, and this season, they’re going to Italy, because… I don’t know, actually. Maybe the vicious stereotyping of the Italian people in Jersey just wasn’t fun anymore, and so they needed to offend an entire country. Whatever the reason, I’m just left with too little energy to recap the episode for you. Check out the top ten quotes from the season four premiere—they, in all of their horror, describe the episode far better than I ever could.
Snooki: “Italy’s like that big country. No, Europe is that big country. They have Britain, England, and Italy.”
Mike: “Lock up your daughters. Handcuff your wives.”
Pauly: “If these boobies could talk they would say, I’m a good time, I’m a blast in a bra.”
Vinny, on Deena: “She got a fat a**, she got the boobs, but at the same time, she’s just one of the guys.”
Sammi: “I’m enjoying myself. I’m actually, like, happy for once, and not trying to be miserable. No more tears for Sammi Sweatheart.”
JWOWW: “There’s no f**king outlets in this place. I don’t understand it, do Italians not believe in electricity?”
Snooki to Sam: “We should get fake boobs together.”
Pauly: “When I get to Italy, it’s going to be an international panty raid.”
Deena: “In Italy, I’m expecting to take a guy home and not do sex…Maybe sex later.”
Snooki: “I don’t know where Italy is on the map but, I know it’s shaped like a boot.”
What do you think of the Jersey Shore heading to Italy?