Ugh, good lord save us all, it’s happening again—after a relatively quiet early summer, the continuing trainwreck sprawl that is The Charlie Sheen Flame-Out of 2011 continues to roll ever onward with an inexorable and soul-crushing omnipotence (hey, look who bought a thesaurus today!).

After reports leaked that Sheen was going to be spilling his tigerblood at a Comedy Central Roast of himself set to air the same night that Two and a Half Men goes back on the air, and then after Sheen announced that he’d be bringing his calm, civilized air to the annual Gathering Of The Juggalos held by the Insane Clown Posse, The AV Club announced today that Sheen might be starring in a TV series adaptation of an Adam Sandler film, which is pretty much the most horrific thing that I have ever heard:

“Sheen intends to return to television in a sitcom version of the 2003 Adam Sandler-Jack Nicholson pair-up Anger Management, with Sheen taking the Nicholson role as a counselor who puts his patients through an unusual form of therapy. Hollywood mogul Joe Roth, who produced the original film, is reportedly in talks with Lionsgate Television on the project, but no one else is currently attached. To give this news some shred of plausibility, Sheen’s television comeback would certainly draw some interest, if only for its trainwreck quality.”

Look, Universe, you’ve played some cruel jokes on us before, but this one just isn’t funny.  We give up, Universe, we give up!  You can stop now!

What do you think of the Charlie Sheen news?