(To Be Sung) Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Johnny Depp is back as Jack Sparrow (Okay, Stop Singing). Captain Jack Sparrow that is, in the 4th installment of the Pirates franchise Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides which hits theaters this weekend with a few character left behind (don’t worry, you won’t miss them) and a few others added (don’t worry, you’ll like them). Overall, this series seen both seen better and worse films, this film neither surprises nor confused. It simply us another Pirates film that will make the cast and crew more money…

The Players:

The Plot:

Once again Jack Sparrow is in need of a ship and will do just about anything to get it. This time he and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth in order to regain their ship from Blackbeard and his daughter.

The Good:

  • Penélope Cruz: Thank god we have a fresh face and another great actor and worthy opponent to Johnny Depp to work with as he gives yet another strong performance. She gives one of the best Johnny Depp impressions ever and really adds as much as is possible to a film like this.
  • Mermaids: It a film filmed with cliches and mundanity it was refreshing to have ANYTHING new and some flesh eating topless beauties did just the trick. If only the film would have been rated “R”. Though once you find the one nice mermaid, things go from new and interesting, to obscenely cheesy FAST.
  • Better than the Last: This film is better than the third film, on par with the second, but still a long way from the first. It is by far not the weakest film of the series and they were wise to keep it under 2 hours and make sure that it was not the boring mess that the third film was. It has it’s moments whenever Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush or Ian McShane get a chance to share the screen and actually act for a moment.

The Bad:

  • BORING: I could pick this film apart but I don’t even want to because despite the fact that they used the same gags as in previous films and this series has already been played to death, the overall film was just boring. It feels like they’re beating a dead horse. And there’s still more! Maybe it’s because the characters are never in any real danger. Maybe it was the storyline that didn’t really add up at times. Maybe it’s that I know I’ll have to sit through at least another 4-5 hours of these films in the future. Maybe it was the new director. Maybe, it’s the over-dramatic acting from the new comers. Maybe, Maybe maybe… overall I just found this film to be a complete bore.


I think I’m just done with Pirates. I see no reason to go back unless they take Johnny Depp’s idea that he gave in our interview and “actually 
shoot [the actors] on the Pirates ride. Just going around in circles, non-stop kind
 of like Andy Warhol’s Sleep. Just close shots on everyone.” That sounds far more appealing to me then going back into the theater for another regurgitated Pirates film.

Rating: 3.5/10

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides hits theaters May 20th.

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