Hour 2 of the Oscars was filled with basically…boredom. Lame songs like the one sung by host Anne Hathaway in the picture above and a slew of minor category awards accompanied by explanations of why they’re essential parts of movies. Glad that’s over.
Now the fun can begin! This hour features all the Best Original Song performances, the start of the Big Categories and a not-so-secret appearance that I won’t spoil here – mostly because it’s already been spoiled by everybody else.
Let’s get going…
7:56 – So much for that: The Academy successfully gets the Audience to hold their applause for the first time, but at least we got see Halle Berry make Lena Horne’s career as much about Halle Berry as she possibly could. Looking forward to seeing you in Shoe Addicts Anonymous, Halle! And with that, we bid farewell to this hour.
7:52 – In Memoriam Time: I’m predicting Dennis Hopper as the last person shown and Blake Edwards as the loudest applause.
7:49 – Look out, Luke Matheny, Randy Newman’s self-effacing analysis of his own acceptance speech is giving you a run for the title of Best Acceptance Speech.
7:48 – That’s right, Randy Newman is 2 for 20 at the Oscars. That’s a .100 Batting Average. If he keeps this up he’ll be starting for The Dodgers. Hi-Yo!
7:47 – WINNER – Randy Newman wins Best Original Song for “We Belong Together” from Toy Story 3 – My Predictions: 8 for 19
7:44 – What the Hell was that A.R. Rahman song? Was he attempting to musically interpret the sound of two people yawning? That got nominated for an Oscar?
7:41 – Anne: “How are you doing, James?” – James: “Not so good.” Yes, we all concur.
7:36 – WINNER – The Social Network wins for Best Film Editing – My Predictions: 8 for 18 (The King’s Speech)
7:34 – WINNER – Inception wins for Best Visual Effects – My Predictions: 8 for 17.
7:32 – Y’know what? Robert Downey, Jr. is witty and charming. Here’s an idea – Why not have him host next year?
7:30 – And if the Oscars aren’t long enough – let’s add time by showing clips from a different Oscar ceremony. With clips we’ve all seen a million times.
7:27 – And here he is – The big surprise guest of the evening: Billy Crystal. At least he would have been a surprise had every website not spoiled his appearance like it was actually news. Can somebody explain to me how spoiling something that should be a treat for the audience is worth doing for any purpose other than journalistic vanity? It’s insane that people think writing news about entertainment is more important than the entertainment itself. Whatever, let’s just enjoy Billy Crystal’s middle-of-the-road jokes that everyone thinks are transcendent.
7:22 – WINNER – Inside Job wins for Best Documentary Feature – My predictions: 7 for 16.
7:20 - Real quick – what are the odds Oprah screams the winner’s name like she’s giving them a new car? I say 1:25.
7:18 – AutoTune the Oscar Nominees. The producers have gone from ripping off the local news to ripping off a YouTube bit. Wow.
7:17 – Luke Matheny easily locks down the award for Best Acceptance Speech by saying his jewfro called for a haircut and thanking his mom for taking care of craft services on his student film. I’m rooting for his feature career.
7:16 – WINNER – God of Love wins for Best Live Actions Short Film – My Predictions: 6 for 15
7:13 – WINNER – Strangers No More wins for Best Documentary Short Subject – My Predictions: 5 for 14 (Killing in the Name)
7:12 – Amy Adams pauses for applause when she mentions George Lucas and gets…crickets. Is the balcony filled with people who waited in line to see Episode 1?
7:11 – “And he made out with my co-host…in a movie.” – I’m starting to feel sorry for Franco and Hathaway for having to read this stuff.
7:07 – Advice to Mandy Moore: Now that you’re married go by “Amanda Adams”. Seriously, how much more grown-up and serious would that sound? It’d be like The Rock switching to Dwayne Johnson. Plus it has the alliteration thing going for it. She looks as stunning and as much like a movie star as ever. I think that little change will make all the difference. Trust me.
7:05 – Can we please get Randy Newman an appointment with Geoffrey Rush so I can figure out what in the world he’s singing?
7:00pm – A man on the street piece about ordinary people’s favorite Movie Songs? Really, Oscar Producer? You’re ripping off the local news now?