Top 10 Biggest Assholes in Cinema
By Sunil Rajaraman
Remember the kid that beat you up in elementary school and stole your lunch money? What about the overly ambitious self-absorbed head of the yearbook committee? Or worse yet, the ineffectual business suck-up who will throw anyone under the bus to get ahead? Certain movie characters combine all of the above characteristics, and more, in one tightly wrapped package…. The ten biggest Asshole movie characters of all time are:
10. Mike Dexter – Can’t Hardly Wait
Peter Facinelli plays the super-jock role perfectly (Facinelli was 25 when he played Dexter). There is almost nothing likable about this character – he has annoying friends, beats up on the “uncool” kids, and the worst part – he has (had) an attractive girlfriend. There is a Mike Dexter in every high school in every country in the world, and he is a complete A-hole. Like most movie A-holes, Dexter gets what he deserves in the end, and is publicly humiliated.
9. Shooter McGavin – Happy Gilmore
Another jock makes the list with Christopher McDonald’s portrayal of Shooter McGavin. Shooter makes the list for the little “gunslinger” maneuver and that horrible “fake love” sequence in Happy Gilmore. If you’ve ever played sports at any level, you know that Shooter McGavin is a complete A-Hole. He’s a showman to a fault, and cheats to get ahead – that’s why he makes this list. Great A-hole performance across the board.
8. Cady Haron/Regina George – Mean Girls
Being an adolescent girl in high school must be hard, but being in school with Cady Haron and Regina George would be flat-out horrifying. Solid performances by Lindsay Lohan/ Rachel McAdams give the audience an idea of just how difficult it must be to be a teenage girl who falls for the wrong guy. Say all of the bad things you want about Lindsay Lohan, but this might be her best performance to date.
7. Walter Peck – Ghostbusters
William Atherton gives the performance of his career as the journalist who is just a bit too persistent. Every time Walter Peck makes an appearance on screen, you can’t help but grind your teeth; stop being so nosy Walter! The scene where Peck calls the authorities over to the Ghostbusters containment facility alone makes Peck a top-ten A-hole. At least he gets what he deserves at the end.
6. Johnny Lawrence – The Karate Kid
Poor Daniel Larusso… Johnny Lawrence made Danny’s move from New Jersey to the better coast an absolute nightmare. William Zabka plays the role perfectly, and frankly, the guy looks like he’d play the perfect A-hole in any movie. Johnny Lawrence is a top-ten candidate because he represents every bully in every school around the world – he is the prototype. Once again, this character gets what he deserves in the end.
5. Biff – Back to the Future
Biff has become a cultural phenomenon, and is the prototypical bully. “Why don’t you make like a tree, and get outta here” and “Butthead” were invented by Biff. Back to the Future is one for the ages, and Biff is a major reason for that. Biff is certainly a meat-head, but that’s not the only reason he’s an A-hole. Biff is also a devious cheat, and in subsequent Back to the Future movies, we learn that he isn’t all that dumb.
4. Charlie Dillon – School Ties
Matt Damon plays the classic prep-school A-hole in School Ties. Aside from being anti-semitic and a complete jerk, Dillon left us with one of the more memorable lines to close a movie: “You know something? I’m still gonna get into Harvard. And in 10 years no one will remember any of this.” Damon will almost certainly convince you that you should not send your kids to an East-Coast prep school.
3. Detective Alonzo Harris – Training Day
I can’t think of another character in the history of movies who caused more mayhem in a single day. Detective Harris drove drunk, killed his alleged best friend, and hired people to kill his partner on the same day. Denzel Washington is as much of an a-hole as he is a bad-ass in his portrayal of Detective Alonzo Harris. Ironically, Harris gets shot in the ass toward the end of the movie.
2. Annie Wilkes – Misery
Talk about an asshole move: breaking the ankles of the guy who you are holding hostage so he won’t escape and finish the book of your dreams. Kathy Bates plays the perfect villain, sure, but the way she treats Paul Sheldon qualifies as some of the worst asshole behavior we’ve seen in movie history.
1. Bill Lumbergh – Office Space
Bill Lumbergh really is, in Peter Gibbons’ words, an “unholy pig of a boss”. TPS report reminders, and vivid imagery of Lumbergh drinking coffee while making love to Gibbons’ girlfriend during a dream sequence qualify Bill for the top spot. The worst part – he’s real! And he’ll make you come in to work every weekend. We hope that you don’t work for a Bill Lumbergh type, but if you do, you may want to consider quitting ASAP.
Who are some of your favorite cinematic bullies?
Written by Sunil Rajaraman who is the President and CEO of Scripped.com.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 2:22PM
A little confusion, I think. Atherton is a journalist in 'Die Hard' (another great a-hole performance) but he's with the EPA in 'Ghostbusters'.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 2:40PM
That's my bad. I had Die Hard in my head while I was writing the post.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 3:30PM
Walter Peck worked for the EPA, not as a journalist.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 7:33PM
How you missed Ferris Bueller is beyond me
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 7:43PM
biff tannen says 'so why don't you make like a tree and get outta here!"
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 7:51PM
It was "make like a tree and get out of here" you D.A.!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 7:53PM
You forgot Ben Affleck as O'Bannion–in Dazed and Confused—
Paul Gleason,— Mr Vernon– The teacher in The Breakfast Club
Bill Paxton as Chet the older brother in Weird Science
Mr. Blonde –Micheal Madsen in Reservior Dogs
"Veruca Salt" from Willie Wonka
Joaquin Pheonix in The Gladiator
The Sheriff of Malibu from The Big Lebowski
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 8:14PM
And Biff was never got the phrases correct, he said "So, why don't you make like a tree and get outta here" not make like a tree and leave.
Also he says "That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship " instead of submarine
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 8:14PM
Atherton in Real Genius!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 8:16PM
The character of Biff was never intended to be considered the "inventor" of "Make like a tree and leave" or "Butthead". That would be a foolish premise. Such statements would most certainly have long pre-dated even the 1950s portrayal of Biff.
He is notorious, however, for screwing up such long-used colloquialisms, with phrasing like "Make like a tree and get outta here!".
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 8:17PM
For Biff's quote in Back to the Future, you got it wrong. The joke of his line was that it didn't make any sense. He said "Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here?" – The first time that Biff would say a witticism correctly would be in BTTF2, as old Biff.
Do with that information what you will, just letting you know that the quote you have is wrong.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 8:23PM
Lee Pace as Roy Walker from Tarsem Singh's "The Fall" 2006. This movie was so painful to watch at the end and I was pissed at the character for week's after watching this. Brilliant acting job, but for a movie like this looked like it was going to be, I couldn't help but feel his character was just a selfish A**hole.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 8:52PM
True, as an EPA wonk, Peck provided yet another level of A-holiness — the petty bureaucrat with an axe to grind. We've all seen a LOT of them lately in the news — city councilmen who call the cops on kids selling brownies, town officials who make little girls stop selling lemonade on their street corner, etc. Peck is their prototype
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 9:01PM
Atherton is really a jerk in the movie Real Genius – an awesome movie if you haven't seen it.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 9:11PM
I put in an argument that Biff deserves the number one spot, because he was SUCH an asshole that he almost brought the space time continuum crashing down just so he could get rich and marry Marty McFly's mother. If there's a more assholish thing to do, I haven't heard of it.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 9:11PM
I'd deal with Bill Lumberg any day over Annie Wilkes.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 9:37PM
Tony Goldwyn aka Carl Bruner in Ghost, everytime i see him, i want to punch him in the face…
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 10:16PM
Another minor quibble… Biff didn’t get the saying right… he said “Make like a tree and get out of here.”
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 10:30PM
Carter Burke (Paul Reiser) in Aliens…
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 10:47PM
Biff Tannen didn't come up with the phrase "make like a tree and leave." He didn't even say "make like a tree and leave." What he said was "make like a tree and get out of here."
Thursday, November 25, 2010 1:24AM
Biff said 'make like a tree, and get out of here' because he was an idiot. he never got it right.
Thursday, November 25, 2010 7:38AM
I think Biff was the best.
Thursday, November 25, 2010 7:42AM
My 2 cents:
- Dennis Farina in pretty much any role he's ever played(Snatch, Little Big League, etc..)
- Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa
- Doug Neidermeyer from Animal House
- The O'Doyle family from Billy Madison
- Jeffrey Lebowski(The Big Lebowski) – from the Big Lebowski
- Gordon Gecko from Wall Street
- Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket
- Trent (Vince Vaughn) from Swingers
- Jaffar from Aladdin
- Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel intentions
Thursday, November 25, 2010 10:58AM
My favorite is Ted Knighht. Who can forget Judge Smails Caddyshack:
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQMr9DvXXF8
Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwYJxNnABp4
Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?
Well we're waiting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWJX9yUKJeQ
Thursday, November 25, 2010 5:37PM
Johnny Lawrence? Huh? Try Daniel LaRusso should have made the Top 10, HE'S the villain in this movie, not Johnny. Kid got into the Tournament ILLEGALLY, and then won it with an ILLEGAL kick to the face. wtf…
Thursday, November 25, 2010 7:21PM
Deloris Umbridge in any of the harry potter movies. Never has an actor or actress appeared onscreen and unequivocally evoked hate from me every time, except her.
Friday, November 26, 2010 1:12AM
i think Biff Tannen is the best
Friday, November 26, 2010 2:13AM
Horrible post. Firstly, the Mean Girls beatch beats out Shooter Magavin? It just seems incongruous. Serious movie villains next to bs teen bullies is awkward. Biff and Johnny L in contrast would make an awesome pair. Unfortunately, the disparity in gravitas between the movies chosen, (Misery/Training Day, vs Mean Girls/ Cant Hardly Wait) is just weird. You cant take two paths at once sir. smarten up.
Im drunk
Saturday, November 27, 2010 9:13AM
aw, you had me 'til #1
Monday, November 29, 2010 6:33PM
What about Jeffrey Jones as Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off?
Wednesday, December 1, 2010 4:44AM
I've gotta go with SS officer Amon Goeth (Ralph Fiennes) in "Schindler's List". He was more than an A-Hole, he was a total douchebag.
Monday, January 3, 2011 10:50AM
I think Johnny Lawrence from the Karate Kid redeemed himself at the very end of the movie. Remember? He hands the trophy to Daniel and goes "You're alright Larusso!" but he's still an asshole though.
Saturday, February 26, 2011 7:32AM
Nothing is impossible， mac cosmetics wholesale
give you a surprise.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011 6:37PM
I would have put Mr. Anheuser from 2012 at 5.