The last episode of True Blood,” revealed a lot of boring revelations and bad special effects leading into the last two episodes of the season. We opined that this was just housekeeping before the show kicked everything into gear…were we right?  Thankfully, yes! Check out our review…

The Players:

Episode: “Fresh Blood”

Sookie becomes the hot new vampire drink. Lafayette really shouldn’t have taken that V. Jessica shares a tender moment with Hoyt, and then finds Hoyt to be fairly tender himself. Sam shuts down Merlotte’s in spectacular fashion. Eric and Russell take a walk together. Arlene continues to be irritating.

The Good:

  • Back On The Rails: Our opinion of the last episode can be summed up with one word: miserable. Fortunately, it was far better and more entertaining this week, and that’s a relief. After all, there are only two more episodes left in the season.
  • In Memoriam: The Emmy parody that opens the episode is a hoot. If you haven’t seen it, we won’t spoil it here; track it down on YouTube, it’s pretty hilarious.
  • This is Why You Don’t Mess With Eric: Granted, we’re a little worried that Eric is starting on an unfortunate path blazed by Spike on Buffy, of the badass vampire who slowly but surely becomes a noble simp. But we don’t have to worry about that for a while longer, especially when he pulls a fast one on Russell.
  • Feed Me: Sookie being outed as part fairy and that her blood allows day-walking is obviously going to be a major plot point, and the way they handled it dramatically was pretty fun…if loaded with some unfortunate implications.

The Weird:

  • V for Very Weird: Granted we’ve seen the effects of V before, but poor Lafayette seems to really be taking it on the chin. Nobody likes a creepy doll. Maybe he’s allergic, or it has to do with his latent voodoo badassery, but sheesh.
  • Pickled Sam: Speaking of the “drugs-are-bad” subtext, exactly how wasted did Sam get last episode, and is there anything left of his liver?

The Bad:

  • Sookie? More Like Snooki: After a season of taking charge, finding her boyfriend, and generally solving Bon Temps’ problems, Sookie might as well have been sitting in the corner reading a magazine this episode. They seriously went out of their way to establish that she has all these fairy powers, and then make her passive for the rest of the episode? What the hell?
  • Can We Abort Arlene Instead?: It seems pretty consistent; for every fun moment in the show, it’s balanced with a character we really hate getting way too much screen time. Arlene has been annoying for an entire season, and this whole Wiccan abortion ritual herb whatever was painfully over-dramatic and also, conveniently, didn’t work. At least Terry had a heartwarming moment.
  • Shatter Crystal: We thought once Crystal’s painfully obvious secret was revealed, she might become interesting.  Instead we’re seeing she’s self-righteous and now apparently a bottomless well of stupidity. Apparently, she defends meth dealers because she…wants to keep their families together? What? Huh? Why does she think being raised around toxic chemicals that could explode at any moment by people who take one of the scariest drugs out there is a good thing? Is she so white-trash she doesn’t understand what a “positive family environment” is? Why is Jason with this twit, and can she be killed by silver? If so, we’d like to make a donation. Also, if the writers named her Crystal because she defends meth dealers…yeah.


The plots we actually care about are back on track, but we’re starting to wish somebody nuked the rest of Bon Temps. The human plotlines are getting more and more aggravating with each passing episode. But the finale will be a doozy, that’s for sure.

Rating: 8.25/10

Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments!