Piranha 3D: Movie Review

The most anticipated B-movie of the summer is finally here! Piranha 3D, is what happens when you put Jaws, Joe Dante’s Piranha, and every semi-pornographic spring break film you can find into one movie. There are a lot of grotesque deaths, lots of unnecessary nudity, and plenty of corny dialogue that’s beyond ridiculous. In other words, it’s everything you’d expect.  Check out our review…

The Players:

• Director: Alexandre Aja
• Screenwriters: Pete Goldfinger, Josh Stolberg
• Cast: Steven R. McQueen, Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Jessica Szohr, Kelly Brook, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Ricardo Chavira, Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss
• Cinematographer: John R. Leonetti
• Original Music By: Michael Wandmacher

The Plot:

Piranha 3D centers on a small town whose population multiples tenfold every year during the 4th of July weekend (thanks to rambunctious college kids). This year something big is going down and it has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. The town is sitting on a crater that unleashes thousands of mutated and deadly piranhas whose sole purpose is to feed on every man, woman, and child treading the waters.

The Good:

• The Humor: This movie doesn’t take itself seriously at all. The premise is pretty much a rip-off of Jaws, there’s plenty of nudity that serves no purpose (watch out for a special underwater scene with Kelly Brook), and several random cameos from actors who show up in scenes for no reason.
• Steven R. McQueen: This young man was the only person putting in a real performance. It’s almost as if someone forgot to tell him that this was a satire. He was likable, funny, and easy to follow as the protagonist.
• Christopher Lloyd: Emmett “Doc” Brown re-emerged in this film with Lloyd’s character  Mr. Goodman, a crackpot who’s an expert on fish and other underwater creatures. He once again plays a scientist type who has all the answers but is slightly insane. It was great!

The Bad:

• The Special Effects: The actual piranhas looked bad, and the killing sequences that featured them nipping away at people’s bodies looked even worse. It’s obvious that the majority of the budget didn’t go towards the CGI.
• The Gore: This is a horror-thriller, so death scenes are expected but some of them were a bit unnerving. Mild Spoiler Alert: Faces get ripped off, bodies are taken a part (literally), and a certain male reproductive organ gets chewed up and spit out (right into the viewing audience’s face).
• Where’s The Adam Scott We Know and Love?: Adam Scott has a supporting role as a scientist who’s more of a straight man than the comedic characters we’ve seen him play in the past. Why would he take on a role in a movie like this if he didn’t want to play it up? If you’re expecting him to delivery hilarity, it’s not going to happen.

Overall:

If you’re into satires and lots of nudity, you’ll love Piranha 3D. It’s definitely not family friendly and it lets you know that within the first 10 minutes. Be prepared.

Rating: 6/10

Piranha 3D hits theaters on August 20, 2010.

Photo Gallery:

Trailer:

Are you interested in seeing Piranha 3D this weekend?