There were many terrible ripoffs of The Terminator, but none stand out quite like Lady Terminator. It’s an odd mix of utterly bizarre original material and shameless shot-for-shot cribs from James Cameron‘s low-budget classic.
The plot is fairly simple: a witch in Indonesian is biting the man-parts off of various blow-dried and porn-stached Indonesian men with the eel in her hoo-ha, until a white man comes along, grabs the eel, and turns it into a dagger. The witch vanishes, promising to return in a hundred years, which she does, by taking control of a graduate student on a diving trip with…an eel up the hoo-ha. This, for some reason, turns her into the Terminator, complete with ripping off all of Ahnold’s mannerisms from the movie. Oh, and she has sex with men quite a bit, and the eel keeps biting off penises, because…well…just because, we guess.
Makes for a great tagline, though: “First she mates, then she TERMINATES!”
This is one of those movies that’s painfully amateur in almost every respect. The actors were cast based on skin color, rather than capacity to show emotions. Not that it matters, because they were dubbed. Events happen in the movie for no reason, including the final showdown at the airport complete with ridiculous zombie puppet. Then there’s Snake. This is Snake:
In short, Lady Terminator is one of the most brilliantly terrible movies ever made. Somehow, the utterly ridiculous mixture of Indonesian myth and Harlan Ellison-type cyberpunk works, at least on the level of comedy. Similarly, the fact that this movie is less a story than a collection of scenes loosely connected by characters turns it into practically a sketch comedy.
If you’re lucky enough to have a theater screening it, catch it there: this is a movie you need an audience for.