Sexiest Movie MILFs

Sexist Movie MILFS – Summer is here and it’s time for clothes to start flying off of bodies. It’s obvious that the streets and screens will be filled with scantily clad women trying to fend off the heat (and the men) this Summer. One thing that has become quite big in the last ten years is the idea of the MILF (Mom I’d Like to F…ornicate), a mother or older woman who is found to be very attractive. Now while there are many older women who like to dress like they’re still 23, that doesn’t mean they’re actually sexy. Alas, we can always rely on Hollywood to give us a true MILF. Here is a list of some of the sexiest MILFs to grace the screen…

10. Maria Bello

After seeing A History of Violence, Maria Bello secured her spot on my list of hottest movie moms/wives. Did you not see the cheerleader scene in that movie? If you haven’t seen the cheerleader scene, I think it’s best you either rent the movie, or start Googling. Go. Now.

• Hotness Factor 7/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 7/10
• Future Career Factor: 7/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 7/10

9. Téa Leoni

No one does the crying or upset wife like Téa Leoni. She gets redder and puffier the angrier she becomes. But she also gets extremely sexy, sexist movie sexy. Her ability to love and nurture combined with her ability to be an insanely sexy woman is very, very  dangerous. If you don’t fall in love with her in The Family Man, you have no soul.

• Hotness Factor: 7/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 7/10
• Future Career Factor: 6/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 6/10

8. Naomi Watts

Another blonde who gets the red-nosed sniffles. This Australian beauty first jumped onto our radars in Mulholland Dr., but she got mainstream acclaim by playing a terrified mother in The Ring. What other mom can battle evil wet demons coming out of the T.V. and look hot at the same time? See? You’ve got nothing.

• Hotness Factor: 8.5/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 8/10
• Future Career Factor: 8/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 8/10

7. Mary-Louise Parker

I know it says movie MILFs in the title, but we can’t NOT have Mary-Louise Parker on the list. The Weeds star has been playing everyone’s favorite suburban pot dealer for six seasons now, and we still aren’t tired of her. Not only is she one of the coolest moms to ever hit the screen, but she also is definitely the steamiest and sexiest movie MILF. The Desperate Housewives can kiss her stoned ass. I still can’t get that sex scene on the hood of her car in an alley out of my head. They should get a woman to write this article, it’s a tough job to go through so many beautiful women… and we’re only at number 7.

• Hotness Factor: 8/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 11/10
• Future Career Factor: 8/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 8/10

6. Salma Hayek

I can’t remember a movie where Salma Hayek’s breasts aren’t being pressed up against each other, trying to escape from some low-cut shirt or dress.  Since the Latin bombshell showed up in Desperado, she has been roaming around in every man’s fantasy. Anyone not turned on by the accent? I’m talking to both men and women here…

• Hotness Factor: 9/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 7/10 (I always looked as Latin women as over-protective moms)
• Future Career Factor: 7/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 9/10 (They also age well)

5. Angelina Jolie

I hesitated when thinking about adding Jolie to this list. I do believe she is extremely overrated and gets much more attention than she should. But I did add her, and decided she deserved to at least be in the top 5. No one can sincerely say Angelina Jolie is ugly without being handicapped or of another species. She is hot. That is a given. Not only has she played a hot mom before, but she was a computer animated deadly mom to Beowulf a few years ago. When a CGI character can make the temperature go up ten degrees in the theater, you know someone’s sexiest movie hot. It might also be a sign of being insanely desirable when you steal Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston.

• Hotness Factor: 8.5/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 8/10 (If she teaches you how to bend bullets)
• Future Career Factor: 10/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 7.5/10

4. Halle Berry

It’s so weird to have Halle Berry‘s name on a MILF list. I still don’t consider her a MILF, but after a convincing argument by a friend I suppose she definitely qualifies as one. She’s 43, has a kid, and has played a mom in at least two movies. How could you forget her award-winning performance in Monster’s Ball? You were thinking about her acting, right? Not her nude sex scene with Billy Bob Thornton’s racist character. Of course not. Neither was I. Excuse me for a moment, have to add a movie to the top of my Netflix queue.

• Hotness Factor: 9/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 8/10
• Future Career Factor: 8/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 11/10 (Undeniable)

3. Diane Lane

Another actress who plays the caring and endearing wife so well. Diane Lane has been a MILF for what seems like 15 years. I remember seeing her in Jack and thinking she was gorgeous… I was 12. Ever since then, it just seems like she gets more attractive by the year. What sealed her fate as number 3 on this list was Unfaithful. Who could forget the woman with a home, husband, and son who just needed a young man to get her blood running again. Well Diane, you got ever man’s running as well.

• Hotness Factor: 10/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 9/10
• Future Career Factor: 7/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 6/10 (Here’s hoping for a nice 55)

2. Monica Bellucci

Most people can’t say they remember seeing Monica Bellucci before The Matrix movies. Most people also can’t say they’ve forgotten about her after that. After making every man’s jaw since then, Maria has been a staple (if not first) on every type of sexy MILF list or conversation. At only 45, let’s hope we see much more of her on these lists (oh, and movies).

• Hotness Factor: 10/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 9/10 (I have nothing to base this on but hotness)
• Future Career Factor: 8/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 11/10

1. Jane Seymour

Yes. I picked Jane Seymour as the number one sexiest movie MILF. Yell and scream all you want as you sit there, far away from me and any kind of confrontation. This is my list, so you will be quiet and respect my decision. Of course opinions will vary, but they are all wrong if they aren’t mine. But seriously, look at Jane Seymour and tell me I’m wrong. From Dr. Quinn to Wedding Crashers, she has been rocking the MILFness with tremendous ease.

• Hotness Factor: 11/10
• Cool Mom Factor: 5/10 (She seems strict)
• Future Career Factor: 10/10
• Chances of Being Hotter In 10 Years: 4/10 (She’ll be 70…)

Who do you think is the hottest MILF? Who should have made the list but didn’t?