No, no, no, no, no—please, God, Buddha, Vishnu, Allah, Morgan Freeman, whoever, don’t let this be true: NME reports that Twilight star and douche-y hairstyle enthusiast Robert Pattinson is set to follow in his Twilight co-star Kristin Stewart’s footsteps by starring in a rock biopic. His role? The tortured, tragic Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain. I… well… there just are no words for this.

Apparently, Cobain’s widow Courtney Love has been in “regular contact” with the pin-up idol, and it’s implied that she’s given the go-ahead for Pattinson to portray her late husband in the upcoming (and long-gestating) biopic by Universal Pictures.  Further, rumors are swirling that Scarlett Johannson is Love’s first choice to portray herself. Somehow, the casting of two of Hollywood’s glamour-slicked beautiful people (who, by the way, haven’t exactly positioned themselves as the strongest actors of their generation—unless blank stares is your thing) to portray the scruffy and ultimately tragic grunge-era couple leaves just a smidge to be desired.  Also?  It’s Robert-goddamned-Pattinson, people.  Really.

There is a handful of hope, however: the film is reportedly based on Charles Cross’ excellent Cobain biography, Heavier Than Heaven, and the film is set to be directed by the always-innovative David Fincher (Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac).  Still… all apologies to the Twihards in the audience, but I think I’ll pass on this one.

What do you think of Pattinson portraying Cobain in a biopic?