most successful actors who can't act

Have you ever watched a movie and thought to yourself, how the hell did this person get cast? Hollywood is full of successful actors and actresses who’ve made a steady living off of their “craft,” and by craft I mean the ability to bullshit their way into films. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of aspiring Sean Penns out there, but for every one there are three Ashton Kutchers. For every young Meryl Streep there are five Megan Foxs and it’s been like that since the beginning of time.

Check out my list of “The Highest Paid Actors Who Can’t Act”…

David Caruso

david carusoCSI: Miami has left its predecessor in the dirt in terms of ratings and has become somewhat of a cult phenomenon thanks to David Caruso and his infamous sunglasses. Ever since I saw him in 1982′s First Blood, I should have known he was up to know good. He caused a big stink on the set of NYPD Blue and left the show after one season, only to appear in such mediocre films as Jade and Kiss of Death. Now, he’s been reborn as some kind of TV messiah put on the same level as Hugh Laurie’s Dr. House, and Kiefer Sutherland’s Jack Bauer. Sorry, but Horatio Caine has become a parody of himself and it’s mostly due to the non-intentional comedic performance given by the man behind the shades.

Estimated Annual Salary: 6 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 5/10
  • Media Exposure: 3/10
  • Overall Success: 6/10

Scarlett Johansson

    scarlett johansson

This will probably anger the general public, but Scarlett Johansson‘s performances put me to sleep. She’s not a horrible actress (I’ve definitely seen worse), but she’s not as great as the media makes her out to be either. With her acting it always seems as if she’s aware of the camera. Whether its underacting (Lost in Translation) or overacting (Match Point), Ms. Johansson’s not that great. Let’s give her accolades to someone else who truly deserves them.

Estimated Annual Salary: 5 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 6/10
  • Media Exposure: 8/10
  • Overall Success: 9/10

Ashton Kutcher

ashton kutcher

This guy just doesn’t do it for me. During the peak of Kutcher’s fame during the TV series, That ’70′s Show and Punk’d I just couldn’t find his appeal. Sure, he’s a good looking guy, but Hollywood is filled with pretty faces. Ashton has managed to turn his douchebag charm into a career staple. Who can forget his roles in such cinematic classics as Dude, Where’s My Car, My Bosses Daughter, Just Married and my personal favorite What Happens in Vegas. He’s turned playing an asshole into an art form, and audiences just eat it up.

Estimated Annual Salary: No one knows! He’s doing a good job of hiding it, do you know what’s in his wallet?

  • Actual Talent: 4/10
  • Media Exposure: 9/10
  • Overall Success: 8/10

Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges

    chris ludacris bridges

After his appearance in the Oscar winning film Crash, I thought rapper turned actor Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges had a promising future ahead. I was partially right, because in the past four year’s we haven’t been able to get this guy off the screen. He’s been in everything from Max Payne to Guy Ritchie‘s European flick RockNRolla. Bridges biggest problem is that he fails to connect with any of his characters. You could blindfold me and play a snippet of audio from every movie he’s ever done and I would think they were all from the same film. He’s what you call bor-ing.

Estimated Annual Salary: 10 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 3/10
  • Media Exposure: 5/10
  • Overall Success: 6/10



This one kind of hurts because I love Common as a music artist, but when comes to acting he is no master. Like Ludacris he has found himself in multiple big budget films and I don’t know how or why. Wanted was a crappy movie overall so his performance blended right in, but Terminator Salvation was where I really noticed his lack of “talent.” Every time he spoke, it was like nails on a chalkboard. His performance was so dull and unbelievable that it hurt my eyes. I need for him and Ludacris to go take a couple of acting classes with Will Smith and LL Cool J so they can learn how to successfully make the transition from music to film.

Estimated Annual Salary: 8 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 1/10
  • Media Exposure: 3/10
  • Overall Success: 4/10

Paul Walker

    paul walker

I will admit that Paul Walker has slightly improved his skills during the span of his career, but he is far from where he should be. Why is it that every time he’s in a movie the words, “Dude” and “Stoked” always find their way into his dialogue? After his stint as a teen heartthrob in films like She’s All That, and Varsity Blues, Walker decided to kick it up a notch by becoming a recognizable force in the action genre thanks to The Fast and the Furious. Walker epitomizes the surfer guy persona even when the role doesn’t call for it. How does he keep getting away with that?

Estimated Annual Salary: 7 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 3/10
  • Media Exposure: 4/10
  • Overall Success: 5/10

Megan Fox

    Megan Fox

Megan Fox herself has even expressed confusion when it comes to her acting. She’s only starred in a handful of recognizable movies, two of which co-starred giant robots, and after seeing her in Jennifer’s Body I’m convinced her career has been a luck of the draw. She couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag with a big hole in it. Like most actors in Hollywood she trades on her looks, but she doesn’t seem to understand that they won’t be around forever. One day she’ll realize that she needs more than a tube of red lipstick to get asses in the seats, but then again hasn’t Jennifer’s Body already proven that?

Estimated Annual Salary: 2 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 0.5/10
  • Media Exposure: 10/10
  • Overall Success: 6/10

Keanu Reeves

    keanu reeves

Keanu Reeves has the type of career that fellow beach boy Paul Walker could only dream of. After over 20 years in the movie business he’s built a massive career for himself off of his stoic, and unresponsive delivery. He’s pretty much played the same character in every movie he’s been in, that character being himself. In Speed he’s Keanu on a bus, in the Matrix he’s Keanu in a trench coat, in The Day the Earth Stood Still he’s Keanu in the role he was born to play. How does he do it? Damn you Keanu Reeves for half-assing it for two decades, and still laughing all the way to the bank!

Estimated Annual Salary: 15 million and up

  • Actual Talent: 5/10
  • Media Exposure: 7/10
  • Overall Success: 10/10

What actors do you think belong on this list? Who do you think should be taken off?