transformers09-6-24

Michael Bay‘s new “summer-fun” (as he likes to call it) blockbuster Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, and Josh Duhamel, is not the roller coaster ride it should be. It starts off with a bang, but ends in a muddle. Although it has many surprises that I did not see coming, because of the excessive use of the same type of explosion over and over again, and the ridiculously long run time, this film is not summer-fun, it’s summer-blah.

Bay should be given a 90 minute cut off for his film, because that’s the maximum amount of time anyone can be entertained by explosions and robots or exploding robots.

It’s time for the good, the bad and the plot…

Plot:

Ha! Like there’s a plot to this film. Bad robots want to destroy the earth and good robots try to save them and people get in the way. POW! BANG! (Insert shot of Megan Fox leaning over a motorcycle at, get this, her dads motorcycle shop…ewww) POW! WOSH! The end.

The Good:

  • IMAX: It’s made to be seen on IMAX: If you’re going to bother this film, see it on IMAX. The picture is absolutely beautiful and a proper screen really highlights some of better moments in the film.
  • The Special Effects: With the combination of Michael Bay and ILM, amazing visual effects are expected and they deliver. Their are a few scenes where you can see the effort put into the details of the robots. The fight scenes are more in depth than the first film and overall the look is more impressive.
  • The Comedic Moments: As always, hire some good writers, Ehren Kruger, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci and some capable actors and you’re going to get a few laughs. There is nothing amazing, but I’ll give them credit where it’s due.
  • Skimpy Outfits: All you boys (and girls) out there, you won’t be disappointed. Megan Fox is smoking hot and so is new-comer Isabel Lucas.
  • The Acting: Well, let’s be honest, they’re not really acting. But all of the screaming, crying, and running around was believable enough for me to buy their characters.

The Bad:

  • The Spinning Camera: WARNING: You may need a vomit bag for this film due to the severe spinning motions of the camera. Sometimes you just want to watch a scene, not spin around it at 50 miles an hour. Bay may love to dramatize a scene with a moving shot, but there were a number moments that I thought I might puke if he didn’t sit the fuck still.
  • The Romance: Partly do to the spinning camera and partly due to their ridiculous story, if the spinning doesn’t make you vomit, their “romantic” dialogue might.
  • Length: It’s WAY too long. The final act took so long to get through that by the time you get to the pay off, you stop caring.
  • Too Many Robots: I know you think “there can never be too many,” but you’re wrong. In the first film we were all excited to see the first Transformer, transform. The special effects, had never been seen before and therefore we were on the edge of our seats, seeing that would happen. This time around, we’ve seen them. There’s no shock value and so they try to compensate with more robots and more explosions. The problem is, there are SOOO many that you just start to get bored of them and bored of the film overall.
  • No Danger: You never feel like any of the characters are in any real danger. Yes, people are dying left and right, but anyone that you’re invested in you know will be fine no matter what. In order to care about the characters you have to know that they’re mortal.
  • The Ending: Everything completely falls apart in the last act. It feel victim to Spiderman 3 syndrome. They tried to throw everything in at once and ended up with a big, confusing mess.

Overall:

The film lives up to every expectation that I had for a Michael Bay film, which was one mind-numbing explosions after another. Sadly, it wasn’t the fun-ride that it needed to be. The film was too long for its own good and by the time we got around to the final fight scene, you’re too bored to care about any of the characters.

Rating: 4/10

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is in theaters starting today, Wednesday June 24th.

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