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This week we have the year’s second surprise blockbuster (after last week’s Taken) when Paul Blart: Mall Cop hits shelves. We also get a bomb that wasn’t with another surprise hit in Tom Cruise’s Valkyrie.

Plus there’s “True Blood,” Land of the Lost movie cash and a brand new Steven Seagal movie in our section detailing the worst DVDs of the week…

FEATURE FILMS

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Starring: Kevin James

Ah, Paul Blart. Silly little Paul Blart. You invaded our commercial breaks during every single NFL Playoff game, you gave us a great go-to bad movie for jokes, and you managed to outgross every single 2008 Best Picture nominee. You’re as lowbrow as lowbrow gets and as middle-of-the-road as a freeway barrier.

So why should we all love you? Because just like Taken you were a tremendous hit despite not being based on anything, a sequel to anything, or a remake of anything. It’s scary to type this, but we need more Paul Blarts.

So swallow your pride and buy the DVD.

Valkyrie

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Starring: Tom Cruise

What’s the perfect recipe for a bomb?

You take Tom Cruise, stick him in an eye patch during World War II in Germany and have him not do an accent. Make the movie right when the anti-Cruise sentiment is at its highest. Put Hitler in the film. Release the whole thing at Christmas. Seems like a surefire flop right?

Yet it didn’t happen. It actually broke even at the U.S. Box Office and made an additional $100MM plus overseas. This might have been the biggest pop culture upset of the year.

You can add to its surprising success by buying the two-disc special edition DVD.

TV ON DVD

“True Blood” – Season One

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In a few short weeks, “True Blood” once again rips through HBO with new episodes. If you’re a “Blood” virgin, you luckily have a chance to catch up with the DVDs.

Also, if you’re new to this series and have only heard the rumors – they’re all true. It is replete with enough sex, blood, violence and supernatural phenomena to satiate even the strangest of appetites. And that’s just the opening credits.

Also:

  • “24”: Season 7 – Buy Now
  • “8 Simple Rules”: Season 2 – Buy Now
  • “Friday Night Lights”: Season 3 – Buy Now
  • “Sister, Sister”: Season 2 – Buy Now

SPECIAL EDITION OF THE WEEK

Land of the Lost Movie Cash

No real special editions this week, but there will be twenty-six opportunities to pick up some Land of the Lost Movie Cash with DVDs as wide-ranging as Carlito’s Way and King Ralph.

With so many releases, it’s just too many to list. So follow this link to buy any or all of the tremendous 26 and pick up your Land of the Lost movie cash.

Horrible Straight-To-DVD Release of the Week

Three terrible movies, three new DVDs. Which is the worst? Cast your vote and tell the world!

The nominees are:

jacksquadalp5-19-09Jack Squad

The Case to Vote for It: It’s got the ridiculous tagline – “It was always about the money. . .Until somebody made it personal”. It also has the crazy plot – a group of women who want money decide to simply start drugging rich people and steal their money while they’re out. So this is pretty much run-of-the-mill awful, but there’s something about that DVD cover that just makes it seem even worse.

Driven to Kill

drivenkillalp5-19-09The Case to Vote for It: We’ve been listing awful DVDs for months and we’ve yet to list a single one starring Steven Seagal. How did this happen!? Worst of all, his latest movie has him playing a former Russian criminal who is now a crime novelist. That means we get Seagal doing an accent and pretending he knows how to write.

Amazing!

Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts

drdolittlealp5-19-09The Case to Vote for It: No summary of this movie exists anywhere. Anywhere. Not even on the IMDB page. So there’s no plot to make fun of. But it does star Judge Reinhold. And its DVD cover does feature what are ostensibly talking dogs. Plus, it’s the tried and true sequel that nobody asked for. A HSTDROTW candidate if there ever was one.