virusmovieskj09-04-29

We have all heard about the swine flu causing panic and fear of a possible pandemic. Hopefully you are all are washing your hands and avoiding sick people who have recently been in Mexico; we don’t want to lose any of our readers to a pig flu.

While you are hanging out in your house, avoiding all human contact, here are a few movies about outbreaks and viruses for you to study up on so that you know what to do just in case the pig flu gets out of control. Hopefully, these movies don’t freak you out more than you already are.

Here is the list of lessons learned from great outbreak/virus film…

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28 Days Later: This is one of those films that appeals to many. Even people who aren’t fond of zombie movies can appreciate this one. This particular movie is one you can watch multiple times and doesn’t get old. Let’s just hope our survival doesn’t come down to fighting swine flu-infected zombies.

Lessons learned:

  • Go for the eyes. Oh yeah. That was a gross scene.
  • The higher up you live the better.
  • Always have an ample supply of spaghetti.
  • Don’t try to save small children – they’re a trap!
  • The last thing you should trust is the government.
  • As always! Everything always gets worse at night.

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The Andromeda Strain: This film, based off of the Michael Crichton novel. The movie is about a satellite crash, in New Mexico, that brings a deadly alien virus to Earth. It is an oldie but goodie.

Lessons learned:

  • Helps to avoid air contact with others. Always dress like you’re in space and you should be fine.
  • Avoid crashed satellites from Space. Who knows if they have an alien virus on it.
  • Don’t do anything stupid, like try to set off an atomic bomb to eliminate the virus.
  • Doctors will do crazy things to find a cure for the virus.

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Outbreak: Whenever I think of virus or outbreak movies, this one always pops into mind. Perhaps the reason is because “outbreak” is the title? Nah. Nevertheless, this movie is a great one in the virus genre. The film has a pretty entertaining cast, starring Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman, and Cuba Gooding Jr. You may have heard of them?

Lessons learned:

  • Don’t pet strange animals! Especially monkeys!
  • Watch out for pointy things.
  • Don’t worry the cure will ALWAYS come right before you die.
  • Again… Don’t trust the government.
  • And always have a group of A-list actors around you if you want to increase your chance of survival.

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Dawn of the Dead: This classic movie, made by the famous zombie movie director George A. Romero, is about a group of people attempting to save themselves from an invasion of flesh-eating zombies. The group manages to avoid the outbreak by locking themselves in a shopping mall for safety. There was a remake of the original George A. Romero film, in 2004 by Zach Snyder. Something tells me we won’t have to worry about people raising from the dead and spreading the swine flu, but you never know!

Lessons learned:

  • Avoid going outside when you look sick. It’s really not becoming (see above photo).
  • Malls are a good place to go in times of need. Just don’t leave.
  • Zombies do not attack dogs.
  • Again, the higher up you are the better.
  • Bring lots of supplies when you do decide to leave the only safe place in town.

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12 Monkeys: This virus film is not a fight-for-your-life virus movie of, in this movie the human race has already been pretty much eliminated. That is where Bruce Willis comes into to save humanity. He plays a convict in 2035 sent back in time to find the “Army of 12 Monkeys” to retrieve the virus so doctors can study it. Except, he was sent to the wrong year. Oops. Instead, he is locked up in a mental institution because of his crazy tale of time travel. Will he be able to find the virus-carrying band of rebels to eventually save humanity?

Lessons learned:

  • Time travel is always helpful when finding a cure for virus’.
  • Don’t tell people in the past that you were sent from the future to find a deadly virus, people will think you are crazy.
  • Don’t fall in love with your doctor, it will only disrupt your mission.

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Mission: Impossible 2: Not the first film that comes to mind when you think of virus’ but it’s in there! This is a pretty entertaining movie, back before Tom Cruise went crazy. The movie follows secret agent, Ethan Hunt, as he is trying to save the world from the release of the deadly “Chimera” virus. This one isn’t very scary, but does have a virus and a shady government system.

Lessons learned:

  • Don’t trust the government. Have I already said that?
  • Virus don’t come from nature but evil villains. Swine Flu was most likely started by a mad German scientist who hated bacon.
  • Chances are, there is already a cure for virus. It is just a government secret.
  • Add a general rule of thumb: Drive away from fire very quickly (see above).

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The Omega Man: The Omega Man is a film based off of the Richard Matheson novel, I Am Legend, about the aftermath of biological warfare between the U.S.S.R. and the People’s Republic of China. The movie stars Charlton Heston as an Army doctor who is fighting off “The Family”, a crazed, violent group of mutants infected by the virus. It is a classic film, and Charlton Heston movies are always fun to watch.

Lessons learned:

  • It is always a Communist country that develops the virus as biological warfare. Try to stay away from the Commies.
  • The mutants with the virus will ONLY come out at night.
  • Remember to gather all your supplies during the day, otherwise you are up shit creek.
  • You can always create a cure for the virus by using your own blood, you just might want to have a medical degree to help you out.
  • Don’t trust those who are in the early stages of infection; they will eventually turn into a crazy, violent mutant who wants to kill you.
  • And a gun might be helpful.

So! Think of us as your doctor. Take these notes and you should be able to survivie the SWINE FLU no matter how bad it gets!

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