The year is 1957. California’s Mojave Desert is a prime spot to catch a glimpse of a shooting star, develop dehydration, or have your body taken over by an alien named Urp so he can hunt down another alien named Ghota and save human civilization as we know it. Are you amused? Don’t worry, neither was I. In an attempt to pay homage to the sci-fi films of the 50′s, Alien Trespass is stocked with bizarre story-lines, cheesy dialogue, and a blue, one-eyed blob that looks strikingly similar to a dildo…as the villain. Run for your life.

While the technological advancements of our era have introduced a whole new ballpark of special effects for filmmakers, director R.W. Goodwin was set on re-creating the low-budget sci-fi flick inspired by films like The Blob, War Of The Worlds, and The Thing.

The film was shot with only three lenses, and the backdrops were almost too simple for any 21st century audience member to comprehend – but this was Goodwin’s attempt to set the tone for the film.While all of this commitment to a much-loved genre of alien movies is a lovely idea, it is clear that Alien Trespass was an underdeveloped effort.

The story was anti-climatic, and at no point during the 84 minutes I spent in the theatre was I even remotely engaged. Ouch. The poorly executed humor was painfully contrived, and was either way too over the top, or far too subtle to score a reaction. At a recent press conference with members of the cast and the director, almost everyone commented on this desire to play everything “straight” to enhance the humor.

“The straighter you play it, the more sincere you are, the funnier it is,” insists Dan Lauria. Goodwin also jumps in saying, “it’s not easy, it was a hard way to go, but I felt it would be much more of a rewarding way to go  if we could pull it off.” Truth be told, they didn’t. The idea of sticking to something completely out of style to elicit a certain reaction, in some cases, absolutely works. But in the case of Alien Trespass these choices weren’t quite cheesy enough to be funny – so they were just annoying. And I have news for you, no one is going to pay money to watch a dildo-villain run around if they can’t laugh while doing it.

The movie is in theaters now, but save your money and go see Sugar or Sin Nombre instead! Catch this one on DVD.