Signs of a dwindling career: doing films like New In Town. When Miss Lucy Hill (Zellweger), a ruthless executive for a Miami-based corporation is relocated to the Midwest to oversee the company’s blue-collar, Minnesota branch – you guessed it – shit hits the fan! This painfully predictable comedy (?) features Miss. Hill’s struggle to adjust to the new environment, and of course, win the heart of the sexiest hick in town, Ted (Harry Connick Jr).

Lucy may be new in town, but the story certainly isn’t. The big city girl moves to the middle of nowhere and is completely unamused by the small-town trends. When the big city girl isn’t tickled by the small-towner’s mind numbingly dull ways of life, they resent her. But suddenly, by some stroke of fate, the big city girl develops a conscience! And by the end of the film everyone is holding hands around the campfire.

For the thirteen senior citizens accompanying me in the audience, this was a lovely idea. But for those of us sharp enough to venture beyond the cliché, not so much. The acting was mediocre, and other than Blanche (Lucy’s ridiculously stereotyped assistant), the characters in general were boring. If you’re going to tell a story that’s been told a thousand times before, at least spice it up with some interesting people. There was nothing fresh or remotely stimulating to keep the audience engaged. Sitting through the entire film felt beyond redundant – I could’ve given you a ballpark synopsis of the movie after the first five minutes.

Redeeming elements? I’ll never have to take a trip to the Midwest, because according to New In Town, it has nothing to offer other than tapioca, scrap-booking, and a relentlessly mundane society. None of which interest me. Save the ten bucks, and go see ANYTHING else.

Open nationwide!