I almost don’t want to post this, because it’ll only make the line longer. But yes, Scott Baio will be present for tonight’s screening of “Zapped!” at the New Beverly. If you missed last week’s column, Zapped is pure 80’s cheese, in which Scott Baio gets telekinesis and uses it to remove high school chicks’ clothes. It plays in a double bill with “Carrie,” as part of The Greats of Roth Film Festival. “Zapped!” starts at 7:30, (but get there early). Baio and Eli Roth will do a Q & A after the movie. “Carrie” begins sometime around 9:30, Tonight, February 23rd at the New Beverly. Tickets at the door.

Also, John Hughes whores take note, “Sixteen Candles” gets the VIP treatment tonight at Cinespace, “an upscale restaurant, bar and screening room rolled into one.” Saturday. February 23rd at 8:00. Tickets at door.

Speaking of 80’s icons, who wants to see our governor demolish the Sherman Oaks Galleria, murder 100 terrorists, and hook up with Chong’s daughter? Check out “Commando” at the New Beverly. Director Mark L. Lester is scheduled to be present for Q & A. And while you’re there, be sure to count how many full-on innocent mall security cops Schwarzenegger murders during his rampage. It’s dreamy. Tonight at Midnite at the New Beverly. Tickets at door.

And if you thought you hated westerns, give director Sam Peckinpah two hours out of your day. His shit is always bloody, grim, and never humps the “American hero” dream. “Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid” stars Kris Kristofferson as Billy the Kid, with an awesome by soundtrack by Bob Dylan (Dylan also plays a small role in the film). Thursday. February 28th at 8:00. Skirball Center. Tickets here.

Don’t forget to pay your dues to Russ Meyer, the psychotic World War II vet who combined quality writing with pornography to create some of the most mind-blowing movies of the 60’s. Meyer’s “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” plays back to back with his “Motor Psycho.” Friday, February 29th at 10:30 PM at the Silent Movie Theater. Tickets here.

Quick note: Patrick Swayze saves the world in “Red Dawn.” Monday, February 25th at 6:30 at Santa Monica College. Free screening.

And once again…