AvP2 Alien/Predator Hybrid Monster

In 1979 director Ridley Scott brought to the screen what would become the sci-fi, horror film of the ages. Alien and the sequels that followed redefined what it meant to be scared at the movies, and forever changed the style and scale for which films of the same style had formally been accustomed to.

The Predator 1987Only 8 years later in 1987, director John McTiernan gave us The Predator, a Schwarzeneggered out, action spectacular, filled with bulging muscles and tough ass dialogue. Not quite as important intellectually, Predator was still very cutting edge visually. It revolutionized gunplay in films and introduced a whole generation of crazy kids like myself to miniguns and sweet catch phrases like “Stick Around” and “ So You Dropped us into a Meat Grinder”.

AvP1 Movie posterIn 2004 a whole new chapter in the Predator/Alien saga came to the big screen in the lamely titled AvP: Alien vs. Predator. Resident Evil director Paul W.S. Anderson tried and failed at recreating any of the same coolness and mystique that was the backbone of the original films. AvP was nothing more than a cheap knock off remake that was more of a practical joke put on by the studios than an actual movie one would typically pay for, then sit and watch.

If you can believe it, that total piece of shit spawned a child. On December 25th AvP2 was unleashed and new director team The Brothers Strause are the ones responsible. I’ll give you the good news first. The action is infinitely better this time around, if you just want to go and shut your head off for an hour and a half then AvP2 might not be a total waste of time.

AvP2 Movie PosterHere goes the bad news. I have to say it should be expected, the story was horrendous. I mean there isn’t even the outline of a story, just a blank slate of characters that have no purpose and a shit load of blood and guts. With the exception of a very quick glimpse of the Predator’s home world, you don’t get any of the classic storytelling churned up by James Cameron, or David Fincher who directed two of the Alien sequels. Only so much can be saved by awesome violence and shooting, all the originals had plenty of that, but it was their character development and detailed history that kept us coming back for more. It’s as if these people never watched the original films, or maybe they’ve seen them, but never really paid attention to the story.

Overall AvP2 is a stinker, but not completely without watchable merit. If you just want to see some hot chicks and stupid guys get all shot up and bloody then go check it out, but if you loved the original films and are looking for some Alien/Predator closer, than stay far, far away. You’ll only want to shoot someone yourself.